


Desirable

by braverystagram



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, Daddy Edward, Daddy Harry, Daddy Kink, Homosexuality is not okay, I'm Bad At Tagging, Innocent Louis, Louis wants Harry, Louis-centric, M/M, Polyamory, Polygamy, Possessive Harry, Sibling Incest, Sub Louis, and Edward, asylum setting, but honestly he's not that innocent, simon cowell is horrible, they try to escape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-07-11 10:51:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7045474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/braverystagram/pseuds/braverystagram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We need to fly ourselves before someone else tells us how."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:  
> -Bradley Bay, England doesn't exist, and neither does Bradley Bay Sanitarium so don't go looking for them in the UK.  
> -I've researched asylums and their history/background so I'm somewhat educated for this (????) fanfic, since it takes place in an asylum. The asylum in this story is not based on any particular asylum, but based on many asylums i've read about; I've made up the rules for Bradley Bay Sanitarium and how it functions, except the layout of the building is based on Eastern Asylum for the Insane, which was located in Michigan (I found a blueprint off of google so).  
> -I'm not good with History so if I mess something up, don't hesitate to tell me, I'll be thankful if you do!  
> -I got the idea for this while reading a fanfic called Impulse by SS98 (it's a good fanfic I suggest you read it) so thank you for i guess sparking this idea!!
> 
> IF YOU ARE BOTHERED BY:  
> -Rape (not descriptive, very light)  
> -Incest  
> -Abuse (from treatments Louis and the twins receive; Louis' treatment(s) might be a bit descriptive (probably only with the electric shock treatment))  
> THEN PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
> 
> Also, I'm very excited to write this so please enjoy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is basically a prologue.

**September 5th, 1931**  
“Louis do you know why you’re here?” 

Louis slowly looks to the man behind the desk, the man who has asked this question two other times, each worded very differently. He looks around, the walls very bland and plain, the large window behind the desk covered with shades to keep the outside world from looking in. There is nothing appealing about this room, it smells of dust and rust, and the only few things in this room is the desk, file cabinets in the corner, and two chairs in front of the desk, which obviously has one occupied by Louis. The man in front of him is dressed in a white button down, tucked into black dress pants with a black tie to complete it all. His jet black hair is slicked back into a quiff, and the name tag clipped to his button down reads Dr. Zayn Malik. 

Oh Louis knows. He remembers clearly what happened. 

**_August 29th, 1931_** _  
“Thank you so much, Louis. Seriously, you’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had.” Liam smiled, looking down to the picnic Louis had set up. It was the perfect afternoon for this, the sky was completely clear of clouds, the temperature was just right- on the verge of a hot summer temperature, but not a boiling hot. It was Liam’s birthday, and Louis wanted to give him a beautiful afternoon picnic because that’s normally what they did together on lovely afternoons like these._

_“C’mon! Let’s eat! I got us pastries from the bakery you love.” Louis grinned, sitting down with Liam sitting across from him. They place the picnic basket in the middle and begin taking everything out, laughing at jokes and feeding eat other like they normally do. In Louis’ mind, Liam was a saint; he cherished him and did everything he could to make him happy. He felt that today was the day, that it was the right time to tell Liam his big secret, something he had been hiding for quite the while.  
As Liam took a sip of the sparkling grape juice, Louis began._

_“Liam I need to tell you something.”_

_Liam nodded and set the glass down beside him. “Alright.”_

_Louis reached over to grab his best friend’s hand, looking at him with a small smile. “Liam I know this might sound crazy, but I-” He paused for a moment, nervously gulping as Liam raised an eyebrow. “But I, I think I’m in love with you.”_

_He watched as Liam furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head with a laugh leaving his lips. “That’s probably the best joke you’ve cracked today, Lou.” He continued to laugh, letting go of Louis’ hand to cover his mouth with his own hand, trying to contain the laughter._

_“It’s not a joke.”_

_And when Liam saw the look in Louis’ eyes, the seriousness they held, his face fell and the air between them grew increasingly tense._

_“Louis, that’s-” Liam stopped for a moment. “That’s not right-”_

_“It feels right! To me it does! I wanna be more than friends, Liam! Don’t you feel it too?” Louis looked at him with pleading eyes. He for sure knew that Liam loved him like he did, he always saw that look in his eyes that read ‘god I love you.’ Why’s he pushing that away?_

_“No Louis, that’s so gross.” Liam spoke with a disappointed tone in his voice. He’s losing him; Louis cannot let that happen. Louis needed him in his life, he wouldn’t let him go. So without thinking, he leaned over and smashed his lips to Liam’s, reaching a hand to the back of his head to hold it in place, so he could kiss him longer. They were soft, and tasted of sweet grape from the sparkling juice and raspberry from the last pastry he ate. Liam struggled to get out of Louis’ grip, yelling incoherent words as Louis’ tongue licked over Liam’s bottom lip. He wanted more but Liam wouldn’t budge.  
Louis then reached a hand down to Liam’s jeans, trying to unbutton and unzip them because he wanted more than just this kiss. He could hear Liam whimpering, mostly in fear as Louis reached his hand down through the jeans, through his boxers until the tip of Liam's cock was in Louis' view._

_But before he could further touch, Louis was finally forcefully pushed away, falling onto his back as Liam quickly stood up with tears rapidly streaming down his cheeks from obvious embarrassment._

_“You disgusting faggot!” Liam yelled, zipping up his jeans and shoving the button through it’s hole. He kicked over the basket as he yelled, “your parents will hear about this! That’s not right, Louis!” Louis watched as his ex best friend stormed off to the parking lot, leaving him feeling abandoned and heartbroken._

_It was worse at home. By the time he got back home and disposed of everything that reminded him of that moment, his parents were already yelling at him about how fucked up he was, about how much of a disgrace he was to the family._

_“This type of stuff does not go on in this family, Louis William!” His mother slapped him across the cheek. She then turned to his father, and spoke with the coldest voice he had ever heard. “Find an asylum that's farthest from here. I don’t want him here, ever again.” ___

“Louis?” Louis zones back in, Dr. Malik's voice a bit distant from his mind as he looks back up, slowly blinking his eyes. Emotionally, he was in pain, pain because he has lost everything ever going for him. Everything he thought felt right; that being sexually attracted to his best friend, who was a boy, was completely right. It felt normal, but in society it’s not. 

"I’m fucked up for liking boys.” Louis mumbles in response.” 

“That’s right Louis. And here at Bradley Bay, we’re going to fix you and make sure that you know that you’re supposed to like girls, not guys. That’s why you’re here. This is just a hiccup in your sexuality. You’ll be sexually attracted to girls in no time, and then you’ll be free. All you have to do is cooperate. Do I make myself clear?" 

Everything that Dr. Zayn Malik has to say goes through Louis’ left ear, and out his right ear. He has nothing to be sorry for; he doesn’t feel bad for wanting cock when he should really want vagina. Nothing can ever fix him, and they’ll realize that sooner than later.


	2. Chapter 2

**September 5th, 1931**  
When he first got here, he was immediately changed into a thin hospital gown. He was shown his own room, which consisted of a cheap bed and gray brick walls. The doors make him feel like he’s trapped in a prison, because they look like cell doors, and the orderlies and doctors can easily see in. He was given a tour of the place, and the rules were gone over with his orderly, Miss Calder. 

“Hello, Louis.” Louis slowly looks up from the ground, looking over to the lady standing in the doorway. She looks a bit young, early twenties with a beautiful shiny brown hair, sun kissed tan skin, and somewhat of a happy-fake smile across her thin lips. 

“I’m Miss Calder, I'm your assigned orderly I guess you could say. I just give you your medication in the mornings and make sure you're back in here by curfew, which is strictly eight o’clock. I also make sure you get to your meetings on time, which I'll discuss later on with you. Right now I'm just here to give you a tour of the building. Will you come with me?”

He really has no choice. The small boy hops off the bed and walks over to the orderly, dragging his feet against the linoleum as the two walked out and down the hall.

“Your cell is 1D, Ward D is the last men’s ward section so that's pretty easy, I would say. Plus, you're a bit closest to the day room than Ward A so at least you don't have to walk much.” Louis appreciates her kindness and soft voice, but it doesn't help the melancholy feeling he gets when he walks along the depressing, bare halls. Most of them are a bit dark, dimly lit with ugly cheap paintings filling in a few gaps every once in awhile.

“This is obviously the male’s day room.” The two end up in a separate room, probably a quarter of the size of the main area his parents dropped him off at. There are many uncomfortable looking lounge chairs and couches, with board games scattered on different coffee tables and end tables. A bit of sunshine peeks through the poorly shaded windows, giving the place some natural light.

“So this is where all patients usually go. Visitors are allowed to spend time with you in here, but they have to be supervised just in case something happens.” Louis looks around, one old lady whispering to a window, another man playing chess by himself and talking to someone invisible across from him. There are a select few who look to be adults, while most of them look old, but maybe this place ages you faster. He knows he won’t bother with any the people in this place because they’re mentally ill; he doesn’t know what they’re capable of.

“It’s called free time, after you’ve had your breakfast, you get a bit of free time, walk around the place I guess. Just don't get lost into the women's side. If you're lost, the heart of this entire place is the Center Building, so go there first- that's where you were registered. If you're facing the reception desk, North is the Chapel Building, which is where they make the food and do laundry. It's also the dining hall, which you'll see soon. South is obviously the outside world, to which you are not allowed to go, East (or right), is the women's ward, and West (or left), is the Men’s ward. If you're caught in the women’s ward, they’ll take you back to your assigned-” She pauses for a moment, cocking her head to the side, neutral colored lips pressing to a thin line with her eyebrows furrowing as she tries to think of the right word.

“Cell?” Louis suggests. Miss Calder looks down at him with a small chuckle leaving her lips.

“Well they aren't really cells-”

“They look like cells.” The brick walls that make up each cell, or room, or whatever it is are dismal looking, and the ugly linoleum wooden floor is completely unfriendly. Each “cell” lacks character, it's all saddening and boring. 

He notices the agitated eye roll from Miss Calder. “They’ll schedule a weekly visit with your psychiatrist, and a weekly visit with your doctor as well. With your psychiatrist, who I believe is Dr. Malik, will meet with you to view your progress, record it, and see if you're getting anywhere. Your doctor, who I'm not sure you're assigned to just yet, meets up with you to give you your weekly treatment. Not sure what they do up there but I'm not even sure if I want to know.”

The only thing he got from her explanation of everything is that he gets an orderly, a psychiatrist, and a doctor. How complex is this place?

“Wait wait, treatment?” Louis presses, the only thing that honestly worried him out of all of the new information.

“You’re probably the youngest patient in this building. How old are you?” Miss Calder asks, seemingly changing the subject as she leads him out of the main area and down back the hall.

“Uh nineteen.” Louis mumbles, making a mental note to ask about treatment while looking down to his bare feet as Miss Calder turns them into the bath hall.

“This is the hall where all the bathrooms and showers are. If it's after the nightly curfew, which I said before is eight o’clock sharp, then you have to ask to use the bathroom. We don't really walk around at night, so I advise you to use the bathroom before you're locked into your cell. We have people on night shifts, but they don't really do anything from what I've heard.”

Louis looks around, every word slowly sinking in as he scrunches his nose at the disgusting smell of sewage and feces. The place is somewhat dirty looking; with stained tiles and more gray bricks making up the wall. The sinks are outdated, and there's even one weakly running water. There aren't even stalls for the toilets, and thinking about using the place with strangers made Louis sick to his stomach. Overall, the entire bathroom is unfriendly, and it tenses Louis with an unsteady stomach.

“The showers are at the end of the hall. Each patient gets an assigned shower time, and you only get one shower every three days, so that’s convenient compared to other places in England.” Louis nods slowly, staying close to Miss Calder as older- naked- men walk into the bathroom. He averts his gaze down to the musty and stained tiles below him, not wanting to stare at anyone and bother anyone.

“Not sure when yours is but when I know, I’ll tell you.” She leads him out of the bathroom and walks down the hall, passing his own cell and going back to square one, the Center Building. There are patients sitting in lounge chairs, chatting away with doctors or what seemed to be visitors. They pass the reception desk and walk through dark wooden double doors, taken through a hall which eventually leads to the chapel building. 

“So this is the dining hall.” Miss Calder announces as the two get inside, endless rows of tables and benches before them with the food line to the far left.   
Louis looks around, noticing immediately how everyone looks weak and tired, and unwilling to eat. They’re mostly pale, hair frizzled and messy with bags under their eyes. Some are slouching, making whispered conversations while some eat alone. They either play with their food or they eat it with an uncomfortable look on their face.

“If they catch you not eating, they’ll force it down your throat.” Miss Calder whispers, the two watching as orderlies walk up to him and force his jaw open, starting to forcefully shove spoonfuls of mashed potato down his throat. Louis whimpers and shakes his head, turning around as tears form in his eyes, because he’s honestly scared that someday that’ll be him.

“Louis-” Miss Calder grabs his hand, and leads him out of the dining hall. He doesn’t know where they’re going but he follows her anyways because he doesn’t want to see anymore.

“Louis it’s all about cooperation in this place.” She whispers, faking a smile to orderlies who pass them with a women in a strait jacket thrashing about and screaming. “If you obey everyone and do as you are told, then you will make it out of here. I guarantee it. If not-” She pauses, stopping in front of his cell. “Then you might not ever get to see the sun again.”

Louis slowly nods, chewing on his bottom lip as he looks up to Miss Calder with a sudden valiant look. “I don’t regret what I did.”

“Don’t tell them that.” She immediately replies, with a look of seriousness and a sudden glint of an evil in her eyes, the warmth of her voice fading into a scolding orderly’s voice. “You need to eat lunch, so I advise you do that as soon as possible. Patients have a different breakfast, lunch, and dinner time as well, so when I find out the times I’ll let you know. They scold you for skipping.” She flashes him a fake smile before walking off god knows where. This place is huge, with multiple floors he’s sure of, and he knows for fact he’ll get lost.

He finds himself slowly walking along the cheap wooden linoleum floor, either watching the orderlies who pass him or looking at other patients in their cell. Most of them are glued to the bed, or feeling along the wall in hopes of something, but only finding nothing. He even saw one woman whispering a chant and writing along the walls in white chalk, something in a different language. He stopped to watch her, and his eyes bulged out of their sockets when she turned her head to look at him. That's when he ran off with a cry leaving his lips.

He didn’t think they would get rid of him that fast, and he didn’t think he would’ve been left alone this fast. He doesn’t have any friends anymore, and family, and he was left to this Hell because he liked boys and he almost- practically- raped his best friend.

But he doesn’t feel bad about it.

He feels bad for raping Liam though, he’ll admit that. But he will never feel bad for being sexually attracted to men. And if people want to ridicule him for it, then they can if they want. But he’ll never be fixed into liking women. He’ll always be homosexual.

He decides to skip lunch because his appetite has been lost ever since he was shown the bathroom and, and told about treatments, and witnessed a force feed in the dining hall.   
He finds himself lingering in that day room, where most of the patients currently are. He grabs a rocking chair and pushes it up a corner on the same wall of the doors he came in through, with his legs curled up to make himself as small as possible, and he watches everyone, rather than socializing.

He sees a women on the floor rocking back and forth and he watches her freak out in a panic attack, screaming and yelling until orderlies run up to her. They try to coax her and try to get her back to reality, but nothing works. Another orderly then runs up with a syringe and injects it into the unstable women’s bicep, eventually forcing her into a deep slumber. Louis’ breath hitches as they lazily and uncaringly drag her away and out of the room.

“You know what happens after that?” A deep voice from beside him asks.

Louis jumps in his place on the rocking chair, earning a raspy chuckle from the unfamiliar man beside him. He looks to his right, and slowly up to the tall figure dressed in the same nightgown as him. He’s got somewhat of a cheshire smile across rosy plump lips, chocolate brown curls falling just below his ears. He looks at Louis with a glint of something in olive green eyes, something that Louis can’t quite tell.

“N-no.” Louis isn’t even sure if he wants to know.

The man grabs a chair nearby and places it across from the rocking chair, sitting down with his elbows on his knees, interlocking his fingers and balancing his chin on them. He doesn’t break eye contact.

“They take you up to the fourth floor, that’s where all the doctors and lab rooms are-”

“Wait what are the other floors?” Louis rushed, eyes full of fear as the man starts the process.

“I’ll tell you after.” He licks his lips. “They take you to the fourth floor, and they take you to your doctor. He yells at you for whatever you’ve done and he gives you a treatment for it, or a punishment. Usually it's a punishment when you act up and it's different from your treatment plan.”

Louis looks over to the opened doors that the unconscious lady was taken out of, then averts his gaze back to the man in front of him. He is so focused on him that the chattering around him blurs into cluttered voices, all molding into one and silencing for the time being.

“What kind of treatment?”

The man licks over his bottom lip, a wicked smile forming as he sits back in the chair. “Well there's lots.”

Louis goes to speak but the man interrupts him.

“In her case, she’ll probably get a cold bath to be calmed down, and possibly be forced into a strait jacket. She was warned just a few hours ago not to do it again, and it happened again. She might get a worse punishment than a cold bath.”

“What if you're homosexual?” Louis can't help but ask. He's worried, scared, in fear of getting a horrid treatment like everyone else in this place.

“Oh baby,” The man frowns- although Louis can tell it's fake, and leans his arm over to brush his thumb over Louis’ cheekbone. “You might not ever make it out of here if that's your case.”

Louis’ breath hitches, and his stomach drops as he frantically looks around for nothing. Everyone is doing their own business; talking to nothing, talking to a wall, or playing a game like a regular person, or just sitting and relaxing. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the man staring at him, watching him with an amused smile across his plump lips. He’s been admitted into this place for about two hours and he's already paranoid about this treatment and punishment stuff.

“Shock treatment.” He simply replies. “They think electrical currents will make it go away, and they'll probably force you to watch a man and women have sex.” The man shrugs, looking down to his nails and treating them with such interest and curiosity. “I've been forced to watch a man and a women have sex. You're never leaving this place if that's why you're here.”

Louis’ mouth opens, about to say something but a voice beats him to it. “Don't scare him, brother.”

Louis looks up to where the raspy voice came from, someone looking exactly like the man in front of him stands beside him, wearing the same hospital gown with a somewhat lighter brown hair tied back into a bun. He places a large hand on Louis’ shoulder for reassurance, but instead, Louis tenses up and brushes his hand off, nervously gulping as he wraps his arms tightly around his legs.

“I'm just telling him the truth.” The man in front of him carelessly shrugs, shooting Louis a wink. What was that supposed to mean?

“I'm sorry, I don't think he's properly introduced himself.” Bun-man dismissed the conversation by moving in front of Louis to hold his own hand out. “He's Harry, I’m Edward.” Another hand reaches out, assumingly Harry's and he shakes both with the correct opposite hand.

“Uh hi.” He manages to speak out, earning quizzical looks from both men. “Are you two-”

“Twins. Identical.” Edward shoots him a cheshire grin, much like the one Harry gave him when they first started talking.

“Isn’t it quite obvious, little one?” Harry cheekily grins, dimples popping out in his cheeks, looking exactly like the ones Edward has indented in his own cheeks.

“Y-yeah-”

“And what might your name be? You're in here because?”

Louis shrinks back into the rocking chair, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as tears gather up inside before they are let out in the corners. These two men are bombarding him with questions, and it adds on to the fear he's storing deep within him. He's trying his best to be brave, but it doesn't help when every little thing in this place is dark and fear-inducing.

Louis opens his eyes after five complete minutes of silence between the three, sighing when the twins are yet still in front of him, staring at him intently.

“I'm-”

“Harry.” An Irish accent interrupts him before he can speak any future.

“Ah Dr. Horan. Here to fuck with my brain again?” Harry asks with a cocky smile. A blonde man in a Doctor’s lab coat walks up to them looking completely pale probably because of the lack of sunshine, since no one is basically allowed out of this hell and the employees all live here. He has a look of distress after listening to what Harry had to say, and lets out a sigh.

“I'm just an assistant. I take orders and do as I'm told.”

“You're just as much of a man of sin as Dr. Dumbass Cowell is.” Harry snarls, a laugh leaving Edward's lips. Louis furrows his eyebrows, sucking on his bottom lip as he listens to the two’s discussion, even though he shouldn't be. “Your treatments are horrid; fucked up.”

“Take it up with Dr. Cowell then. You were supposed to be escorted to his lab a half an hour ago. Where have you been?” Niall tries to be stern, but it obviously doesn't work because Louis can tell that he's intimidated by Harry. He speaks like it, and the anxious drum of his fingers against his thigh proves how nervous he seems to be.

“Busy.” Harry hums, pressing his lips to a thin line as he looks up to Dr. Horan with wicked induced eyes.

“Well you need to come. He's really irritated-”

“What are you going to do to him?” Edward butts into the conversation, standing up just as Harry did. He extends his arm in front of his twin, not allowing him to go. “You aren't giving your shitty shock therapy! Not again!” He shouts, disrupting the other patients and earning glares. Harry never told him that he received an electrical shock, just the woman and man having sex. Was that on purpose?

“Edward please-”

“Not it's not even gonna make anything better!”

“Edward just shut up. You can't always protect your brother.” Dr. Horan reaches out to grab Harry’s bicep, pulling him away from Edward which immediately made Edward wrap an arm around his twin’s torso and pull him back into his chest.

“Don't test me, Edward. This will all be a happy ending for both of you if you would just let go of him.” Niall seethes, jaw clenching as his grip around Harry’s bicep grows increasingly tight. But from what Louis can tell, it doesn't bother him.

“I'm not letting him go this time! To hell with everyone in this god-awful place!” Edward screams, pulling his brother into his chest as he yells profanities at Dr. Horan. It all happens so slowly, as though Louis is watching everything in slow motion. He watches as a group of orderlies run up to the scene with a syringe, and when Edward sees it he goes ballistic and begs for them to let him be. Harry is pulled away from them and taken out of the day room, even when he shouts for his brother. Louis’ arms around his legs tighten as the syringe is plucked into Edward’s bicep, immediately forcing his eyes to close and his body to fall limp. 

“The first time we’ve had a problem with him.” An older lady grumbles, starting to drag him out of the room with the others helping. Louis shudders, not even moving for hours from his spot on the rocking chair because everything in that moment was so surreal, forcing him to fall into a state of shock because it was the worst thing he had ever witnessed.

He's too scared to even move anymore.

 

A few hours of just staring off into space with his arms still just as tight as they were when Edward fell unconscious, finally found the courage to get up and walk back to his cell; with his head down, not leaving the somewhat comfort of his bed for the rest of the long day. 

He curls under the thin sheet that is provided, with his head resting on the cheap pillow that feels as though it's stuffed with straw, although it's probably something cheap that's not even close to being straw. The insulation in this place is horrid; Louis already finds himself getting colder by the minute, and it's the worst environment he's ever been in.

Is that really how they treat people? If they freak out and don't calm down, they just give them a sedative and take them off to god knows where, without a care in the whole damn world! And he's not even mentally ill! What they're doing should be illegal, but no one seems to care or think so. People are dropped off here only to be abandoned by their so called family. It's horrible how him and other people are treated just because they're different.

And those two twins. The way they talked to him, sounded pretty sane to him. But he's only known Harry for like, ten or so minutes while knowing Edward for a good five to ten. Maybe there's something more to those two?

Sane or not, they are two very good looking twins, born of charm and loyalty, so it would seem because Edward tried to protect his brother, only to get a horrid consequence. Was it even worth it?

And the entire night, Louis lies awake with the same thoughts in that cloudy mind of his, and when he closes his eyes, the only things he can see are two cheshire smiles and crystalline emerald eyes staring right at him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all of the hits and kudos!!!! any feedback is greatly appreciated !! ♡

**September 6th, 1931**

“It's a new day, Louis.”

He is just barely in and out of sleep, eyes glued closed with no motivation whatsoever to start “the new day.”  
That night, he slept horribly, with distant and nearby moans and cries of patients suffering from solitude, and wanting out of this freaky place. His thoughts kept him up that night, forcing him to brood about how this place exists, why it exists, and why he's even here. Not to mention the mattress of this bed is so uncomfortable and not pleasing for his back, and the pillow felt as though it's stuffed with straw or a cheap material. And because the sheet is so thin, he found himself shivering most of the time even though it's summer.

“I heard next to me cell,” Louis murmurs, slowly opening his eyes to look up to the smiling orderly above him, Miss Calder. “someone screaming, and-”

“Take your medicine, Louis.” She immediately hands him a plastic cup filled with three different looking pills. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see another orderly watching them intently, as though she's examining him, mostly Miss Calder for whatever reason.

He gulps with a small frown curving downwards on his lips as he looks up to Miss Calder with pleading eyes. “There's nothing wrong with me.”

Miss Calder insisted. “Take them.” She suddenly speaks with a harsh assertiveness, sounding like an irritated mother who is trying to get her little boy to take his liquid medicine. And Louis refuses to take him for the reason he said before. There's nothing wrong with him.

“I don't want them.” Louis pushes, although he shouldn't have because Miss Calder’s jaw is clenching tightly with fury boiling in her eyes. He has no idea where this sudden rudeness is coming from, but he's not liking it one bit.

“Louis.” She mumbles. “Don't make me do it, please.” Her face softens for a minute, as though she doesn't want to be so cruel but something obviously is forcing her to be anyways. 

“Miss Calder if you could please hurry, we have other patients to attend to.” A second, more stern, voice scolded from the doorway, writing something down on a clipboard with a solemn look.

“Is someone refusing to take their pills?” The same lady speaks as though she's talking to a little kid, with a fake pout across her cheap-lipstick colored lips. “Well I guess we’ll just have to help you, hm?”

Miss Calder is quick to shake her head, eyes almost bulging out of their socket as she begins to protest. “Oh no Mrs. Johanson, we don't need to do-”

Mrs Johanson, who Louis nicknames Miss Pushy, puts her hand up to signal for Miss Calder to stop. “Do you want to be fired, Miss Calder?”

Louis looks back and forth between the two as they discuss and argue, nervously gulping at what's to come. He slowly sits up, draping his legs over the edge of the bed away from the two and decides that maybe he can dart for the door without being noticed since they're so invested in whatever they're arguing about.

“Get him!”

He is immediately held down by his orderly, Miss Calder, causing him to immediately fight back by kicking and screaming, “let me go!” He refuses to take pills that won't even help with anything, because there's nothing wrong with him.

Miss Pushy straddles his waist (which makes Louis feel so violated and uncomfortable), shouting profanities at him as more orderlies come in to help, holding his arms and legs down so Miss Pushy can finally get her way.

“Open your mouth!” She yells, forcefully grabbing Louis’ jaw and trying to force it open. But Louis holds it closed as tight as he can, trying to get out of everyone's grip but they are all much stronger than him. He doesn't have a chance, and he's already starting to feel weak. He can feel the sweat gathering at his forehead as his chest heaves, loudly whining when his mouth is aggressively forced open. He can hear Miss Pushy shouting for someone to hand her the cup of pills, and one by one they are dropped into his mouth. They each hit the back of his throat, causing him to immediately gag and cough; he wouldn't let them go down.

“Swallow!” She yells in his face, feeling the spit from the inside of her mouth hit his skin, causing him to gag in disgust.

“N-no!” He manages to scream, almost spitting them out but she grabs him by the throat and squeezes until they are each swallowed past his throat and traveling down to his stomach. He screams, this time high pitched and more piercing as she lets go to let him finally breathe. And as everyone else lets go of his limbs, he screams and kicks and demands to be let go, because that wasn't needed and there's nothing wrong with him.

He looks at Miss Calder with rage, because she allowed them to do that to him and she didn't even care. He thought she was sweet, and kind, and actually not fake, but today proved otherwise. He will not trust her after this.

His jaw clenches, cheat filling with rage and fury as he says, “I can't believe you let them-” He feels a sudden sharp pain in his bicep, and all he sees after that is complete darkness.

****

Louis’ eyes slowly open, turning his head to look around the unfamiliar room before him. It's completely bare, with unfriendly and ugly bricks making up the wall just like downstairs, and there's the same wooden floor just as downstairs has. The room has a few lights on, and Louis is sitting in a wooden chair, feet strapped to the legs with his wrists strapped to the armrests. He faces a blank projector screen, slightly frowning at the uncomfortable solitude.

He hardly remembers what had happened, and he doesn't quite know how he’s ended up here. His head is pounding and all he wants to do is curl up in his bed and sleep, but he knows for a fact that won't be happening anytime soon.

Suddenly, the only door in the closed off room is opened, a man in a lab coat and dark, almost fading to gray hair walking in. He has a bit of stubble from what Louis can tell, and somewhat tan skin. He offers Louis a small smile before pressing his lips into a thin line, looking at Louis with a solemn expression.

“You must be Louis. I'm Dr. Cowell, I specialize in Homosexuality behavior.” He starts, looking down at the clipboard held in his hands. “We’ll make you better in no time and soon, you'll be on your way.”

Louis scoffs, shaking his head as he looks away from Dr. Cowell, and instead looks at the more interesting brick wall to his right instead.

“Look, Louis. I know your mind is just confusing you. You really aren't attracted to men at all. It's just a phase, that’s all.” Simon speaks, but Louis ignores everything he says, letting it all go out into the air with no one to take the words in. But the doctor continues on.

“Originally I was going to meet with you next week, let you get settled in for a bit but after your little mishap this morning, they insisted I start your treatment today.” Dr. Cowell moves behind the chair, Louis looks back to watch him set up a projector, putting disks into it before turning it on. Louis looks to the screen in front of him, watching as a picture slowly appears before him.

“I understand you've raped someone.” He says in disgust. “Homosexuality of any type is completely frowned upon in this country. I don't know why anyone would ever do that to someone.” Dr. Cowell scoffs, and makes a gagging noise to further mock him. He laughs at himself as though he's the funniest guy and hooks the projector machine up to a shock generator. The memories start to slowly ease their way through Louis’ mind, easily causing tears to pool in his eyes, but he tries his best not to think about it, focusing on the projected picture in front of him.

“Now here's how this works.” Dr. Cowell comes back with electrodes and pins both of them to the side of Louis’ head. By the time Mr. Cowell is explaining, Louis’ chest heaves heavily because of the anxiety building up. He's scared, completely and utterly in fear of this treatment because what's going to happen to him once he can't take it anymore? What if it's all too powerful? He winces when the electrodes are shoved onto his temples, shaking his head as he sucks in a shaky breath.

“Can I please-”

“Let me explain first, Mr. Tomlinson.” The doctor tsks. “I'll go in depth just to scare you even more, Mr. Louis. Basically, each of these shock slides have pictures of different sex scenes, male on male, and male on women. The homosexual slides have specific ink on the edges and when the phototransistor reads the mark, it'll trigger a shock. Just so you know which is a no-no, and which is right.”

“So-so i’ll basically get shocked whenever there's two men?” Louis shudders, watching as Dr. Cowell nods with a sadistic sounding laugh.

“Well let's get started, yes? If I see you look away, you'll get an extra shock. I have a clicker that decides if I want to cancel the shock or give an extra. Usually I give it to the patient but you don't deserve it today.” Dr. Cowell wickedly grins, and Louis is thankful he can't see it.  
The first slide comes up, a man penetrating a woman's vagina on a king sized bed. Louis cringes, and Dr. Cowell takes a note of it.

“This is what you should want, Louis. How does this make you feel?”

Louis couldn't even look at it for any longer. “It makes me want to throw up.”

With the press of a button, Louis feels a shock course through his head and brain, causing him to immediately cry out. The headache he once had now feels increasing worse, a migraine now, just from a small shock.

“Next.” Another slide, a man sucking another man’s dick. He immediately felt another shock, causing Louis to throw his head back with a high pitched groan leaving his lips. It gets worse.

“This is not what you should want, Louis. A man sucking another man’s penis is completely wrong, sinful.” Dr. Cowell tsks. “No reaction?”

“I-” Louis stops, laying his head back and closing his eyes. He earns a slap to the cheek, which immediately makes him snap his head up and open his eyes.

“If you close your eyes one more time you'll get a worse shock.”

Louis whimpers as another man and women are shown on the screen, completely naked and kissing. Each time a man and a women showed, Louis would cringe or shake his head in disgust, and completely turn him off. It was hard, because with more homosexual pictures, he received more shocks, more piercing cries and screams, shouting “stop” when his head completely pounded. He had a half hard-on from the pictures, and when Louis’ eyes fell shut, Dr. Cowell decided that would be the end of today’s treatment.

****

He slowly awakes in his “cell” a few hours later, the migraine in his head now worse than it already was as he curls his legs to curl his body into a baby’s fetal position. The sheet is draped over him, head firm on the pillow as tears start to immediately fall from his eyes, salty warm droplets dripping from his cheek and soaking into the fabric of the musty white pillow case. He can still feel his head pounding; it honestly feels as though someone's smashing it with a hammer. He can barely even remember anything from this morning, and as he tries to think about what happened in the last few days, his brain strains and he is only left with a big pot of daze and confusion.

“Hello, little one.” A rasped voice suddenly fills his ears, making the small boy jump in completely fear, and quickly hide under the sheets as though he’s better protected from anyone.

“No no-” He squeezes his eyes tightly as more tears form, curling back up into a ball to make himself as small as possible. He can hear bare footsteps walking across the floor, the bed suddenly dipping beside him. He can feel a hand being placed on his back, and the man- who Louis did not see yet- starts gently rub his back in an attempt to calm him down.

“It's me, Harry.” The voice murmurs. “Are you okay?” Harry? The guy that was trying to scare him yesterday? The guy with the twin who was trying to save him? 

Louis slowly peeks his head out of the sheets, averting his gaze to the man he had met yesterday. His hair is a bit messier than the day before, curls tangled up with each strand obviously unbrushed. He has very noticeable bags under his eyes, with droopy crystalline green eyes as he looks at Louis with a look of concern and curiosity.

“Why're you here?” Louis can only murmur, slowly sitting up and criss crossing his legs. His head slightly sways, due to the migraine and the light dizziness he feels and ends up laying his head in his hand, eyes immediately falling closed.

“I missed you, little one.” He can almost hear the frown on Harry’s face. “Plus, I saw them carrying you back here, you looked horrible and I was worried.” He combs a finger through Louis’ frazzled hair, smoothening each strand out and trying to get the tangles out.

“They-” Louis stops himself, because he honestly cannot remember what happened with Dr. Cowell. He can only clearly remember him, and his sadistic attitude and his gross opinions on homosexuals. He remembers meeting Harry and Edward, but he can't remember much of anything else. Is this normal?

“Why did they start your treatment so soon?” Harry asks after a few minutes of Louis trying to think.

“I don't remember.” He honestly doesn't. He's trying his best to remember stuff but it doesn't seem to be coming to him. He almost feels as though he's experiencing memory loss, is that the case?

“I think this is a side effect of shock therapy, little one.” Harry sighs, looking away as he licks over his bottom lip. “It happened to me yesterday. My brother had to help me through it.”

Louis looks up to him, a small frown across his lips as he scoots closer to Harry, laying his head down on his shoulder and closing his eyes once again. He's super exhausted, his mind feels fried and he can barely think of anything. He just wants to sleep it off.

“It'll come back to you, little one. And soon, you'll be much better again. And as the treatment goes on, you'll be prone to the shocks. I promise you.” He earns a reassuring smile from Harry, lifting his head up and opening his eyes as the older man stood up.

“Louis?” A distant feminine voice is heard, and Louis slowly opens his eyes to look up to yours truly, Miss Calder. Louis’ whole mindset completely changes when he sees her, eyes narrowing filling with anger as he watches her walk in.

“Leave.” He grumbles, jaw clenching.

“Louis, don't start.”

“Leave.” He repeats, sounding darker this time.

“Louis, listen to me-”

Louis lets out a bit of cold laughter, slowly shaking his head as he grabs onto Harry’s hand to stand up. “I'm not listening to what you have to say. I think you know better than to abuse patients in this place!” He shouts, earning a squeeze to his hand from Harry.

“Keep your voice down, little one. You don't want to go back up there.” Harry’s lips are pressed to the shell of his ear, letting them linger for a few seconds before pulling away.

“What do you want, Miss Calder?” Louis lowers his voice, leaning his head back on Harry’s shoulder as his head suddenly pounds again.

“Just came to tell you your times for everything. Your breakfast is 7:30am to 8:30am, your lunch time is 11:30am to 12:30pm, your shower time is 1pm to 2 pm, and your dinner time is 5:30pm to 6:30pm. Sound okay?” She purses her lips as Louis only responds with a nod, and turns around on her heels to leave him at peace.

“Your name is Louis.” Harry states, placing a hand on the small of Louis’ back and leading him out of his “cell.” “That's a very interesting name. Louis.” He looks down to the smaller boy with a smile, Louis having to literally tilt his head up because he's so damn small compared to this guy.

“We have the same times for everything. But my brother has a different breakfast and lunch time.” They turn down many corners, going through different levels of wards, C, B, A, then eventually leading out into the center building. “Don’t understand why since we’re twins and we like to be together, but whatever.” Louis watches Harry nod at passing orderlies, seeming giving them false respect and fake smiles. He also nods his head at a few other patients here, giving them a small wave or asking how they're coping inside this hell hole.

“Keep your hand off of him.” An orderly scolds, walking up to them to slap them both on the cheek. “Homosexuality tendencies are not tolerated here in Brady Bay. You especially-” She points her finger at Harry. “should know that.” She makes a disgusted noise before walking through the two and shoving them apart.

“Is physical punishment even allowed?” Louis whispers, continuing to walk alongside Harry to the doors behind the reception desk.

“If forcing food down someone’s throat or sticking needles into the bicep is allowed, then I'm sure any other physical punishments are allowed.” Harry reasons, and it did seem logical since orderlies are basically allowed to act as harsh as they want, and no one else would care. They could probably hurt someone till their death and still no one would even feel the slightest of sympathy.

The doors are already open, since the temperature outside is a perfect summery warm atmosphere. Louis takes an immediate inhale of the outside air, happily sighing as he looks up to the sky above him. He misses the outside, his picnics with Liam, traveling to the creek and walking down it and slipping and falling into the shallow water. He misses picking dandelions, since they're his favorite, even though they're weeds, not flowers.

“Louis?”

Louis snaps from his trance, looking around for Harry and noticing he's all the way at the other building. He didn't realize that he had stopped to admire the blue serenity above him, spacing out to watch distant memories of himself and Liam, his ex best friend.

Ex best friend.

Almost lover.

That he raped.

“Louis?” Harry calls out again, but Louis shakes his head.

“I-” It was an accident, he tells himself. But was it really? His chest is heaving, he's frantically looking around for Liam, to apologize. All he wanted was to love him, to be more than just his best friend. He wanted to give him the absolute best birthday of all birthdays, but he ruined it because Liam didn't love Louis the way he loved him, and he forced himself onto him thinking that would change Liam’s mind, but it made him be shut into this place for possibly the rest of his life.

“Hey, little one.” He feels a hand on his shoulder, it's Harry but his voice is distant. He can't control his breathing, and all he can do is look around for Liam. Part of him wants to yell at Liam for ratting him out to his parents, and the other part wants to beg for forgiveness for ruining everything.

“Please calm down, don't die. Deep breaths, breathe in, breathe out.” He naturally listens, breathing in when Harry told him to and the exhaling all of the trapped air. He slowly looks up to Harry, only slightly panting as he regains his composure.

“Bad memories?” Harry easily guesses, with Louis only nodding for a response. “If the orderlies saw, they would've injected you with a needle. Remember the lady on your first day?” Harry places his hand on the small of Louis’ back, guiding him up to the closed doors and helping him inside.

The memories of his first day are a bit hazy, but he does remember the lady with the panic attack, and how she was immediately and very lazily dragged out by uncaring orderlies after she fell unconscious. She was in the men's day room, but Miss Calder said men cannot go to the women's side, and women cannot go to the men's side. So what was she even doing there?

“Do you know what happened to her?” Louis murmurs, staying close to Harry as they navigate their way through the dining hall. “Where are we going? The food is over there.”

“They took her to solitary confinement.” Louis looks up to Harry in horror, watching as he looks around, seemingly looking for someone. He then wraps his arm around his shoulders, starting to gently rub his bicep in attempt to soothe him. “It's okay, little one. She's on the second floor, she can't hurt you. And my brother will have seats for us, and he will have our food waiting for us. He should be at our usual spot in the corner but-” Harry pauses, chuckling at himself as they walk to the corner in the far left of the cafeteria, completely away from everyone else. “My eyesight is horrid, little one.” Louis follows close beside him, sitting down on the bench across from Edward with a tray already in front of him. Harry settles down next to his twin, placing a delicate kiss to his cheek.

“I almost didn't see you, brother. Your back was facing where we were standing.” Harry chuckles, immediately taking a sip of the dish water in the glass. “Either that or my eyesight is getting worse.”

Edward rolls his eyes, pushing the tray in front of him while saying, “I wouldn't eat today, if I were you two. The dinner is worse than yesterday's.”

Chewing on his bottom lip, Louis looks down to the food in front of him, mashed potatoes with carrots and some kind of meat and gravy. He's almost afraid to eat it, because he has no idea what's back in that kitchen, who works in it, and if it's even clean.

Harry only focuses on the carrots, which is the only thing on the tray that looks half decent. “Don't discourage him, Edward. He probably hasn't eaten all day.”

Louis decides to take a bite of carrot, the vegetable only tasting bland and steamed. It's better than not eating anything at all, so Louis deals with it. 

“How do you figure that?” He can hear Edward scoff at his own twin, probably because Harry knows him well already.

“Well because it's true. Isn't it, Louis?”

Louis slowly looks up to the two twins, who are staring at him expectantly. He takes this time to study the two, both having olive green eyes, the same sharp jawline that could easily kill Louis’ mind just thinking about it. Harry’s hair is shorter though, with Edward’s falling down past his shoulder. It's completely curly, and a milk chocolate brown, with Harry’s only a shade darker. They both have the same look on their face, except Harry’s got somewhat of a smirk because he knows he's right and his brother is missing out.

And as Louis thinks about how he hasn't had anything to eat at all, he finally remembers his slip up this morning. How he wouldn't take the pills because there's nothing wrong with him, and one of the orderlies forced all three of them down his throat because she was that desperate for him to get “better.” He was given a shot to the bicep, he fell unconscious, and woke up in a secluded room where he was forced to look at photos of naked men and women, different sex scenes and scenarios, with a shock to the head whenever there was a homosexual slide.

“I-it's true.” He manages to speak out, his mind now processing everything that's happened today. “I wouldn't take my pills this morning, that's how I ended up with Dr. Cowell.”

Harry's face falls immediately when he hears this, while Edward’s eyebrows furrowed with narrow eyes and a defensive glint in his eye. “Dr. Cowell?” He muttered, voice filled with venom and fury.

“I'm not even surprised.” Harry rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, scoffing in disgust.

“I remember he told me he specializes in homosexual behavior or whatever. What does that even mean?” Louis takes a sip of water to down the disgusting carrots in his mouth. The water tastes worse than the carrots and he almost gags at it.

“It means he wants to cure it, as though it's a disease.” Edward grumbles, sounding obviously disgusted in the topic of this obviously mentally ill Doctor.

“You know, we’ve been here for a year now and he's so sure he can cure us-”

“-But he’ll never be able to, no matter how hard he tries.”

Wow they're like stereotypical twins, they finish each other's sentences. Louis giggles after it happens, shaking his head fondly as the two watch him with confusion written on their faces.

“What's so funny?” Harry is the first to ask.

“Edward finished your sentence for you.” Louis giggles once more, trying to stop himself by shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth, only to soon regret it and spit it out into his napkin.

“Told you it was bad, little one.” Edward hums, reaching over to ruffle Louis’ hair. “Always listen to us. We know this place better than you do-”

“-Obviously, brother. What he means to say, is just stick with us and you'll be safe, little one.”

Louis nods with a smile across his chapped lips, sitting and talking with the two twins for the remainder of their dinner time. Once their time was up, they asked if Louis wanted to hang around in the day room but he preferred to stay in his “cell,” not quite ready to be seen by other patients just yet. He was honestly exhausted by the time the two walked him back to his “cell,” earning a small kiss to the temple from each twin.Thankfully, no orderlies were around when it happened.

“We hope you feel better, Lou.” Edward smiles reassuringly, placing a hand on the back of Louis’ head to comfortingly stroke his hair.

“We’re actually in 4D, so if you ever need us, we’re just a few cells down.” Harry grins, the same chesire grin he saw the first day they had met.

“Wait you guys share a cell?” It seemed like everyone got their own separate cell, so it surprised Louis to hear that they share one.

“We’ve been here a year now, little one,” Edward chuckles.

Harry finishes for him, as per usual. “They think we’ve changed and that we’re okay together. They think we can contain ourselves but-” Harry giggles, looking to his brother as Edward winks at him. 

Louis’ lost now. Why were they brought to this asylum? “Wait so why are you in here?”

The boys chuckle and shake their head, as though they don't even know the answer themselves. Either that or they aren't telling Louis, not anytime soon.

“Get some sleep, little one. Get plenty of rest, too.” Harry smiles, pressing one last kiss to his forehead before quickly pulling away when an orderly walks by.

“Maybe one of us will see you before curfew, yeah?” Edward presses a kiss to his temple, letting go of the back of his head to gently push him into his “cell.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” Louis smiles small, watching as the two twins walk down the hall and turn the corner, probably on their way to the day room.

It's no surprise that it takes him awhile to fall asleep, and it's also no surprise when it's just before curfew and the twins show up. He pretends to sleep, and he knows for a fact that they're whispering about him and watching him. 

The whispering slowly fades out, not realizing that he's missing an important chat between the two. The last thing he thinks about before he falls asleep, is why have those twins taken him under their wing?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE ILL TRY TO UPDATE MORE !!!!!!!!
> 
> comment feedback maybe?♡

**September 7th, 1931**

The next afternoon, Louis is settled in a very uncomfortable and cheap lounge chair, legs curled into his chest as his eyes carefully scan around the Center Building, seemingly examining everything that he sees, and everything that goes on. No one has walked through the entrance doors for approximately three hours, but he watches the orderlies rush around, trying to get from point A to point B. Different gendered patients wander around aimlessly, and a woman almost walks into the Men’s side until she is yelled at by an orderly. Employees at the reception desk do any type of paperwork while doctors and psychiatrists pick up files and reports. The same things seem to keep repeating as noon rolls by, Louis watching the analogue clock hanging on the wall near to the right of him as the handle strikes one.

He has been in here for a total of two days and his stomach already churns with fear. He's scared of the orderlies, scared of Dr. Cowell, scared of Dr. Malik- although he's only talked to him once, which was his first day, and he's scared of every other person walking around in this ginormous building. He's completely in fear of going crazy in this place. How would he even go insane in the first place? He doesn't know. What if these treatments they give him mess with his brain? What if his mental health deteriorates in this place? Two days, and he's already grown into a coward.

And those twins. The twins that everyone seems to know. He's noticed that some orderlies cringe when they walk past, but how could that be? They will not tell him why they are stuck in this place, they've been stuck for about a year now, Harry said. But what could be wrong with them? Other than their creepy cheshire grins, they seem completely sane; they can hold a perfectly normal conversation and they don't have that crazy look in their emerald olive eyes. They’re quite comforting to be around, actually.

Speaking of the twins,

“Louis.”

About thirty minutes after one, a rasped voice interrupts Louis’ brooding, causing him to slowly look up to see who it was. It was either Harry or Edward, they both have somewhat of the same voice so it's sometimes hard to tell who's talking when Louis isn't looking; that’s why he always watches them as they speak.

“Hi, little one.” Edward smiles, taking a seat in the lounge chair next to Louis. Harry remains standing in front of the two with an unreadable expression on his face.

“Hi guys.” Louis says, letting out a soft, content sigh through his nose as the twins stare at him intently, which is what Louis loves about them. It's like they're taking the time to study every little detail of Louis’ face, and with the attention focused on only him, it makes him feel like a queen.

“How was your sleep? You weren't awake when we stopped by last night, which was good because you need your sleep.” Edward reaches a hand over to ruffle Louis’ fringe, causing the boy to whine and move away from his reach.

“No, it was horrible. It's like, impossible to get like, five plus hours of sleep. I always seem to wake up a lot.” Louis huffs, crossing his arms as he lays his head back. “I'm so tired and I just want to sleep.”

“Well I mean, there's no rule saying you can't.” Harry shrugs, looking around to make sure no one's watching them before leaning down to plant a kiss to Louis’ forehead.

Edward nods in agreement, before speaking while smoothening Louis’ tangled hair out, “If you wanna sleep, little one, then you can. You don't always have to be with us.”

“Well yeah but-” Louis sighs, planting his feet to the floor so he can stretch his legs out. “It's better being with you two than being alone.”

As he thinks about it, he's actually kind of glad he met Harry and Edward first, because if he hadn't, then he would be pretty lonely, walking around by himself with no one to guide him and give him tips. Sure he would have Miss Calder, but right now he's unhappy with her (even though he knows he shouldn't be), plus she's always going to be working with other patients and orderlies so it's not like he could talk to her forever. Being with the twins is better than being alone with his thoughts.

“Being alone in an asylum… not the best idea.” Harry hums, Edward nodding along. “Edward watches people, and he's seen people go crazy from the amount of solitude they allow themselves to have. Right, brother?” 

Louis watches as Edward nods once more, watching him lean back in the chair with his right ankle resting on his left thigh. “It happens all the time, especially on the second floor, in solitary confinement.”

“How did you get up there?” Louis’ eyes suddenly grow wide, eyebrows lifting as he stares at Edward with a look of a bit of disbelief. This catches Harry’s attention, and he leans down to grab Louis’ hand for comfort.

“Dr. Horan sneaked me up there. I just wanted to see, and Harry was off in his shower so it's not like I had anything better to do. I had a friend in one of the solitary confinement cells, in a strait jacket, and I always visited him. And each time I would visit, which was like, every week, I would say, I could see him, slowly losing his sanity.” There's a hint of sadness tucked away in Edward’s voice as he speaks, now staring off into space as he recalls the memories with his old friend. “The last time I saw him, he was sitting in the corner rocking back and forth, murmuring stuff I couldn't understand. And I tried telling him it was me, but-” He paused for a moment, inhaling a sharp breath. “He wouldn't budge. Then a few days later, Dr. Horan told me he killed himself, but I don't believe it.”

Louis looks away, pursing his lips as the story processes into his mind, thinking about it for a few moments before looking up to Edwards with curiosity and asking, “why don't you believe it.”

Edward licks his lips, removing his leg from his thigh and sitting normally, scooting to the edge of his seat. “Please, sure he was going insane but there's nothing in those cells that can kill or harm someone. They said he smashed his head against one of the walls, but when I went back up there the same day they told me, there was no blood anywhere.”

Harry hums, Louis assuming that he agrees with his brothers conspiracy theory about this guy’s death. 

“Well then how did he die?”

Edward looks at him with a cheshire grin, this time looking more creepy than usual. “That's the mystery, little one. This place is full of mysteries.”

“That and surprises.” Harry adds, earning a chuckle from his twin. Rather than laughing with them, Louis instead looks down to his lap, playing with his dainty fingers as they suddenly become more interesting than this scary story.  
And with Louis’ sudden quiet manner, an awkward silence fills in the gaps between the three, with mainly the boys just staring at Louis for the umpteenth time since he's been here, probably taking this time to admire him while he isn't looking. But with the clear of someone's throat, all three of them tilt their head up to see the orderly, Miss Calder standing in front of them with a small smile.

“Hi, Miss Calder.” Louis is the first to speak, lifting himself up from the chair to walk over and give her a small hug. “I'm sorry about being so mad at you. I promise I'm not mad anymore.”

A look of relief washes over the adult, a satisfied sigh leaving her lips as she hugs Louis once again, before quickly pulling away when a group of orderlies walk by. 

“It's okay, Louis.” She starts off, shaking her head with a smile. “I would've been mad too, it's completely fine.”

The twins come up on either side of him, Edward on his left and Harry on his right. One of the two, Harry, asks why she is here and what she wants from Louis.

“Well,” She looks at all three of them for a moment, when an unreadable look across her face before putting on a bright happy face. “We’re letting patients outside today, only outside those doors,” she points to the entrance doors. “Or you can sit around in the garden. You need supervision for that but I think I can trust all three of you because honestly,” she lowers her voice into a whisper, “you three are probably the most sane out of everyone in this place.” All four of them share a short laugh, each thanking her for her kindness before she walks away and continues on with her duties.

“Secret garden? She never specified which garden we could go to.” Edward suggests with a smirk across his lips, the other two boys nodding (Louis not even questioning the ‘Secret’ part) and immediately following him to the double doors behind the reception desk. Right when Louis is exposed to the fresh air, he inhales deeply with his eyes falling closed, holding tightly onto Harry’s bicep as he follows the two. He already misses the fresh summer breeze, the mixed scent of grass and wildflowers, and the warmth of the sun from above. There aren’t any windows he can look out, and if there are, then they’re mostly covered with curtains and shades, as though they don’t want the public to see inside. What have they got to hide?

“Everything.” Louis murmurs to himself, answering his own question while looking forward to see planted flowers covering the ground, with a fountain and a few benches. The flowers are dry, and wilting, and Louis quickly assumes that no one is tending to their needs, which is no surprise. There are many weeds growing around the area, with yellow dandelions and those white dandelions you’re supposed make a wish with. Louis picks one up, watching as the twins sit at the edge of the fountain, who are watching him with squinted eyes because of how sunny it is. He brings the delicate thing up to his lips, closing his eyes for a few minutes, breathing softly through his nose with his lips pursed as he thinks of his wish.

_I wish I wasn’t gay? No that’s horrible._

Even if he wished for the thing he actually wants to wish for, he knows for a fact it would never happen. He’s stuck in here for the rest of his life, and if he was to get out, or released, escape, or whatever the case may be, he would never be able to go back to his family, or even his best friend, his companion, Liam.

_I wish for a better life someday._

He smiles small, inhaling as much of the fresh air as he can before blowing it all out, opening his eyes to watch the seeds fly out into the slight breeze, letting out a relaxed sigh as they all floated away from him. He eventually drops the stem to the ground and takes a seat on the edge of the fountain between the twins.

“What did you wish for, little one?” Harry breaks the comfortable silence, while wrapping his arm around Louis’ shoulders.

“Not telling.”

Edward hums. “And why not?”

The smaller boy of the three lets out a small giggle. “Well because.”

“It won’t come true if he tells us, brother.” Harry explains for him, starting to gently rub his shoulder in a soothing manner. It relaxes Louis, and he lays his head on Harry’s broad shoulder with a smile. This is the kind of attention he’s always wanted from a guy.

“Louis?”

He jerks his head up, looking to his right to see Edward already staring at him.

“I’ve been meaning to ask. What did you do to get admitted into here?”

Louis immediately sighs, shrugging lazily as he picks up a pebble beside him, lightly tossing it carelessly into the fountain. He honestly wants to avoid this, tell them something different and lie, but that would only make him feel worse. It had to happen eventually, right?

He immediately gets into it, only to get it done and over with; he starts off with the story of how it was Liam’s birthday, how he wanted to make sure it was the best he ever had. He chokes on tears as he gets to the heartbreaking part, the part where Liam rejects him and calls him terrible names.

“I raped him.” He suddenly blurts, not wanting to explain any more of that day. He stands up, walking forward a little with his back facing the twins, taking his bottom lip between his thumb and pointer finger as he waits for the repulsive comments.

“I’m sure you didn’t, little one.” One of them says, with a hint of sadness in their voice. He turns around, lip wobbling as he shakes his head.

“I did. I’m in here because my best friend ratted me out to my parents for being homosexual and for raping him. I wouldn’t stop and thinking about it makes me feel sick. I tried to tell him not to, but he wouldn’t listen. I wouldn’t be in here if he didn’t do what he did.” Louis sighs, rubbing his eyes with his hands as he lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’m a good person, honestly.”

“Lots of people in this place are good people, little one.” Edward softly speaks, standing up only to place a comforting hand on Louis’ shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze for reassurance.

“I don't feel sorry for being attracted to men. Is that bad?” Louis slowly looks up to Edward, tears forming in the corner of his gray ocean blue eyes. He doesn't like to be judged, although everyone does it without even realizing it. He also doesn't like to be the center of negative attention (which is what could potentially happen if he ever got released from this horrid place), but being here makes him feel like he is.

“To them it's bad, but to the people who understand, it's not.” A small smile curves on Edward’s plump lips. He leans down to press a kiss to Louis’ temple, letting his mouth linger against the skin before pulling away.

“We understand, little one. And we don't feel bad for what we’ve done either. Isn't that right, brother?” Harry adds into the conversation.

Edward nods and takes his seat back down on the fountain, leaving a space in the middle of him and Harry so Louis can sit back in his spot as well. With a bit of reassurance, Louis sighs in relief as he sits back down in between the twins, staring off into the distance with the conversation done and over with.

“I wish we could stay out here forever.” Louis’ eyes look up to the sky, to stare at the white streaks of cirrus clouds, eventually fading into a deep blue of wonder up above. It’s a beautiful sight to see, something Louis always loves to do; just lay down in the grass and just watch the sky and the clouds roll by very slowly in a very tranquil atmosphere surrounding with the sounds of chirping birds and woodpeckers, as well as hummingbirds and plenty more. In the asylum, it’s completely opposite, dark rooms with moaning or screaming patients. No sunspots, or no sounds of nature, just the sound of “cell” doors slamming and patients crying and resisting treatments.

“Me too, little one. I say we leave.” Harry casually suggests, with a sly grin on his lips as unwraps his arm from around Louis to stand back up.

Edward rolls his eyes at his brother’s ignorance. “We can’t just leave, stupid.” 

“Please, no one’s outside, we can leave and those idiots wouldn’t even notice.” Louis looks around, looking between the Center Building entrance and the Chapel Building, seeing that there is no one lingering around the doors; everyone’s probably in the front of the Center Building. Except someone just walked out the Center Building doors, looking around for a few moments until the person spots him and the twins, waving at them as they walk over.

“Who is that?” Louis squints, trying to make out who’s making their over to them. He can see blonde hair in a quiff, with somewhat pale skin hidden under a lab coat. The two twins avert their gaze to the older man, groaning simultaneously once they realize who it is.

“Dr. Horan.” Harry sighs, rubbing his face roughly with an obvious irritation taking over his mood.

The assistant of Dr. Cowell walks through the field of grass, eventually making his way up to the garden area and down the path to the fountain, where the three of them currently watch him.  
“Miss Calder told me I could find you two out here.” Dr. Horan states, obviously referring to the twins rather than Louis. He stops in front of the three boys with an obvious fake smile on his face, although he remained polite, calm, and collected.

Harry is the first to speak with a roll of his eyes, and the crossing of his arms. “Just trying to enjoy nature without any interruptions.” Louis gulps, watching as the curly haired boy next to him stands up to be closer to Dr. Horan. Edward is quick to get up as well, and take his spot next to his twin.

Dr. Horan looks around, seemingly making sure that no one else is around before his eyes land on Louis, bright blue meeting Louis’ deeper and more gray blue. Louis immediately looks away, with a light shade of red coating his cheeks, while nervously fidgeting with his fingers. Dr. Horan lowers his voice into a whisper.

“I need to talk to you two about something.”

The twins look back at Louis for a moment, who is pretending to pay no mind to their little secrets. 

“Hey, Lou. How about you go inside, yeah?” Edward softly suggests, running a hand through his long curly locks as Louis quickly stands up. 

“Yeah sorry. I'll see you guys later.” He gives Dr. Horan a small nod before rushing past all three of them, trying to walk as fast as he can to the Center Building doors. He pants as he finally makes it inside, placing a hand on his chest as he tries to get his breathing back to normal. Louis looks back out the door for a moment, the three of them still in the same spot engaged in a deep conversation.  
But what about? Why couldn't Louis just stay? Are they working together to conspire against something? The twins are very complex, very different. They have a lot of hidden secrets that they obviously don't share with people, especially Louis. Which he can understand, but what's going on with them and Dr. Horan? Could he be helping them with something?

He could be over-thinking, like he always does. Louis sighs, glancing around the area; patients wandering around once more, employees talking and gossiping at the reception desk. His breath hitches when he sees Dr. Cowell and Dr. Malik talking together, something that sounds pretty serious by the looks on their faces. He slowly walks past the desk, with his head turned the other way so the two can't see him, and he tries to focus in on the conversation.

“I want you to see Louis possibly tomorrow. Just ask him about the treatment, how he's feeling. See if it's changed anything.” He hears Dr. Cowell say, before letting out a loud yelp when he runs into another patient. He slowly looks up at the figure in front of him, much taller and broader than him. He's fuming, and reaching to grab Louis’ bicep as he screams and yells profanities in his face. And of course, Louis’ first instinct is to burst into tears and try to get out of his grip, but his hand is so tight around his bicep that it’s squeezing him, nails digging into the skin which causes Louis to let out a high pitched whimper.

“Ashton!” He hears an orderly yell. But Louis feels like he's suffocating, unable to breathe properly as a bunch of different people grab onto him. He hears a loud thud in front of him, but he can't see because the environment in front of him is painted in black and white twinkling stars. Everyone's voice is mashing into one and he can't even tell what's going on anymore.

Is this what it feels like to go completely insane?

****

Louis wakes up a few hours later, letting out a small groan at the sudden pounding in the back of his head. His eyes groggily open, looking around only to realize that he was placed back in his “cell” after his little panic attack. He’s grown into such a baby after being placed in this asylum, afraid of everything and everyone. But who can blame him? The people in this place, and the things that happen inside these walls are freaky, and it’s hard to forget everything you witness.

Not even knowing what time it is, Louis gets up from his bed anyways, stretching his limbs out as he walks out the door, looking down the hall to see it completely deserted and bare. He slowly walks down the hall, because of how dimly lit it is and he can’t quite see very well in the dark. He’s supposed to have glasses, but he left them at home because he never wore them, and he didn’t feel like taking them in with him. Everyone’s doors are closed, and he notices that most people are tucked away under the cheap sheets that covered each bed.

And that’s when he realizes he’s out past curfew. 

How did he go unconscious for so long? They probably injected him with a syringe so he’d calm down. That stuff can knock you out for hours.

They punish people who are out past curfew, but Louis needs to use the restroom really badly, and Miss Calder wasn’t lying when she said the orderlies who work night shift don’t walk around at night. How are they getting paid if they aren’t doing their job?

His mind is thinking a mile a minute, and he literally just woke up. 

Louis winces when a patient starts to scream, eyes bulging out of their sockets when he realizes it’s because of him. He can hear multiple footsteps in the distance, so Louis runs off in the direction of the bathroom, and quickly hides in one of the stalls. The place still smells of sewage and urine, especially feces, and Louis almost gags at the disgusting smells that linger around in the air (it's not like he can even throw anything up, he's been skipping meals).  
The screaming stops, and he can hear more footsteps, but no one enters the bathroom, thank god. He decides to wait a little, go pee like he needed to, and quietly wash his hands (if that’s even possible). The sinks have stains in them, and Louis honestly decides that maybe he should never use the bathroom ever again- even though he knows it’s not possible. This entire bathroom is a complete health hazard, and Louis wants nothing to do with it.

When he’s finished, he peeks his head out the bathroom door and looks down the hall, making sure no one’s coming before slowly making his way out. He walks past the empty day room, and down a few halls until he has to hide behind a corner. He can hear slow, but very light and faint footsteps; whispering voices who he assumes are male doctors because most of the orderlies here are female.  
Louis’ heart rate quickens, and the beatings grow louder in his ears as they near the corner, with his eyes shut tightly in fear of being yelled at for being our past curfew. He holds his breath when they turn the corner, hoping they won’t see him, but then the two figures stop, and Louis opens his eyes, and he is met with two familiar olive green eyes that are caught in a deer’s headlight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: light rape towards the end.
> 
> sorry if this seems shorter than usual !!

**September 7th, 1931**

Louis is completely taken aback with what is in front of his eyes. They know pretty damn well that it’s past curfew so why are they sneaking around suspiciously? Did they do something bad somewhere else and they’re trying to find a place to hide? Because it’s pretty obvious they aren’t sleepwalking. What are these twins up to?

“What’s going on…?” Louis whispers, being the first to finally speak.

The two twins exchange apprehensive glances, either of them obviously not wanting to speak. But Edward steps forward, and places a hand on Louis’ shoulder for reassurance, but Louis is quick to shrug it off. A sigh leaves Harry’s lips.

“Louis…” Edward starts, trying to keep everything on a calm level.

“What’s going on?” Louis asks a little harshly, and a little louder, and the twins quickly shush him in fear of someone hearing.

“Well…” They’re stalling, and it pisses Louis off even more now.

“Tell me, goddamn it!” He whisper-shouts, taking aback both Edward and Harry. They look at him with an uneasy look.

“We were trying to escape.” Edward finally admits, leaning his back against the wall and closing his eyes. Louis looks back and forth between them, all the anger suddenly replaced with the feeling of hurt.

“And you didn’t want to take me with you…?” Louis asks, sounding a bit disappointed as tears fill his eyes. He thought he could trust these two, and confide in them with anything and everything. All three of them don’t deserve to be in this place, the twins have even said it, but then when they get a chance to escape, they don’t even bother letting Louis come with them. If the situation was turned around, and Louis found the chance to leave this Hell, then he would surely take the twins because of everything they’ve done for him.

“It’s not like that, little one…” Harry says slowly, taking a step forward to be closer to the teary eyed boy in front of them. “Not at all, it’s just that, we didn’t have time, and it was a spur of the moment decision. We’ve been planning this for a few months now and-”

“Save it.” Louis carelessly waves them off, growing exhausted from the bullshit and the lack of sleep. He didn’t want to hear any explanation, it was better if he left them alone and let them do their thing. He shouldn’t impose.

“Hope you make it out.” Louis mutters, walking past them to get back to Ward D. He isn’t caught by any of the night-shift orderlies but a patient cries out when he sees Louis, yelling and asking why he’s out. Thankfully, Louis is close to his “cell” so he runs into it and closes the door before any orderly realizes he’s out.

As the patient screams demands and profanities, Louis lays down on his extremely uncomfortable bed with his head on the cheap pillow. For once, he’s actually happy to be alone in here.

“Home sweet cell.”

****

**September 8th, 1931**

Miss Calder wakes him around eight so he can eat breakfast. She knows Louis’ been skipping meals lately from how skinny he’s already gotten. His cheekbones are more defined, with his jaw slightly sharper than when he came in on his first day. His collarbones are clearly more prominent and some of the muscle in his arms seemed to have inflated like a balloon.

“I’m a little worried about you, Louis.” She says as the two walk down the ward hall to get to the Center Building. Patients are alive are moping around, while the employees at the reception desk gossip about other orderlies and the affairs they’re having with doctors and their husbands at home.

“Why? I’m alive, aren’t I?” Louis replies, looking up to Miss Calder with a bit of determination written on his face. But she can see past it, and see that his eyes are filled with a dismal cloud which produces a miserable look on him.

“Barely surviving, I presume.” She smiles at his courage.

Louis sighs, stopping in front of the doors that take everyone to outside, to the Chapel Building. He looks up to Miss Calder with dark bags under his eyes, cheeks completely pale from the lack of nutrients in him. His orderly sighs at the sight, placing a hand on his shoulder and soothingly rubbing it for comfort. She whispers a small prayer for him, asking God to watch over him and help him out of this place as soon as possible. And also keep him healthy and happy. She then presses a quick kiss to his forehead before pushing him out the doors into the fogged atmosphere of sadness.

 

After going through the line to get his breakfast- scrambled eggs, a muffin, a bowl of fruit, and a cup of milk- he looks around for somewhere to sit, because the Styles twins probably made it out without being caught. Just thinking about them escaping without him makes his stomach feel sick, with jealousy boiling inside. It wouldn’t be fair to him or anyone else who feels they don’t belong in this Hellhole. 

But when he looks over to their usual seat in the far left corner, his breath hitches when he sees the two older men, Harry and Edward sitting across from each other with their heads leaned in. But Louis remembers Harry telling him that Edward has a different breakfast time than him and Louis. He probably snuck in or something; Louis wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.  
Ignoring that thought for later though, he then notices that the two seem to be discussing something serious; he can tell by the way Harry’s eyebrows are furrowed, and how he just moves his eggs around their spot on the tray.

They didn’t make it out, and every negative emotion left his body and faded into the air. But that doesn’t mean they’re off the hook. They really did hurt Louis a lot, and it’s probably stupid, but Louis really doesn’t feel like talking to them. So he slowly walks around, looking for a place to sit until a girl with blonde hair looks up at him and waves for him to come over.

“Are you a girl?” She asks when Louis slowly (and uncomfortably) sits down across from her. He tenses up at all of the unfamiliar girls around him, and gulps as he looks at the girl in front of him.

“No.” He only answers, taking a sip of his milk before starting on his scrambled eggs.

“Why is your voice so high pitched?”

“And who are you?” He's somewhat irritated with the personal questions, and somewhat offended that he comes off as feminine. In his eyes, he's the manliest man he's ever seen, other than the Styles twins and his ex friend and ex lover, Liam.

“I'm Perrie.” She happily grins, reaching over to grab Louis’ hand and shake it a little too aggressively. “Why're you in? Is it because you look girly?” She giggles, pulling her hand away to get back to eating her food.

“I'm not even girly.” Louis grumbles, looking down at his tray as he finishes the rest of his eggs. But Perrie only giggles, and even snorts before she replies at his denial.

“Please, your lips are so pretty and your collarbones are poppin!” The girls around them agree, and Louis’ cheeks are suddenly painted with a faint splotch of pink. His eyebrows furrow in embarrassment, with a small frown tugging downwards at his lips as they point out the flaw of his lips. He's never liked them because, like they implied, they're feminine and too naturally pink for his liking.

Thankfully, Perrie dismisses the conversation. “I'm not quite sure why I'm in here.” She pouts, tilting her head to the side like a confused and curious puppy.

“I don't think a lot of people do.” Louis murmurs, finishing the rest of his milk before standing up with his tray in his hand. He doesn't think he can take this group any longer, especially Perrie’s accusations and perkiness

“Have a nice day.” With a nod of his head, he's quick to dump the rest of his food in the trash (thankfully no one saw) and rush out of the Chapel Building doors. Without the twins, things seem lonelier than usual, and Louis isn't sure if he likes that. It's worse enough has to spend time alone in his “cell,” but not having the two with him really brings everything down. 

But they hurt him, and he doesn't feel like talking to them. It's childish of him, but he needs his space because they were the first to understand him and the reason he was locked up in here. And knowing that they were planning something without him really disappoints him.

 

After wandering around for hours, skipping lunch, and avoiding the twins, Louis’ shower time finally comes. He's glad he's finally able to shower since his body stinks and his hair feels greasy. He's heard some talk that administration is thinking about letting everyone shower everyday, which’ll be much more convenient for him and everyone else. He prays that it happens soon while making his way down to the bathroom hall.

As he slowly walks down the hall, naked men with towels around the waist walk in and out of the shower room and the bathroom. It’s somewhat crowded, and even though Louis is completely homosexual, the men around are ironically turning him off. Most of them are bigger and taller, with muscles to keep in shape. There are some that are around his age, or look to be around his age, but they all keep their head down or look away because if one person sees them naked, then bad things are ought to happen.

People take homosexuality very serious in this place. If they see it happening, then they will either pretend like it isn’t happening or they will run off and tell an orderly. Okay so maybe some of the patients in here don’t take it as serious as the orderlies and doctors do, but some of them will and no one wants to mess with the people who do.

Reaching the end of the hall, Louis peers into the shower room, which is on his left. There are tons of naked men showering, obviously taking their time and not wanting to leave for awhile. He notices the laundry cart in front of him, where hospital gowns lay sloppily inside. He nervously gulps, because of how insecure he is, and looks around the hall to make sure no one is coming or can see him. He quickly takes his gown off and tosses it into the cart.  
When he turns to the shower room, there is sadly no door so he can see everyone’s bare butt and back. And that’s when he cringes, despite how homosexual he is. To his right, he takes a wash cloth and a bar of used soap, and to his left is a pile of fresh towels. He assumes he takes that when he’s finished so he slowly walks inside with the steam from hot water immediately filling his lungs. He can hear a few voices, people talking to each other to pass time while cleansing.  
Louis takes a shower head in the way back left corner. There are no shower stalls, it’s one big open shower room and everyone can see each other, and as much as Louis wants to get cleaned, he just can’t with the amount of people in here.

He turns to face the shower head and turns it on. He adjusts the temperature to a more-than-warm hot and lets out a sigh when the water hits his skin. It finally feels great to just relax and stand there in a paradise of hot, soothing water, with droplets falling into his hair and immediately dampening it. His eyes close, the bar of soap in one hand and the wash cloth in the other forgotten for a few short seconds. After a few minutes of tranquility, Louis’ eyes slowly open and he turns around to now start focusing on the task at hand.

He rubs the cheap bar of soap around in the wash cloth, trying to get it as sudsy as he can. While that, he looks around and tries to find a familiar face- Harry to be exact. He remembers Harry telling him they have the same shower time, so maybe he’s in here right now.

But instead of finding just one of the twins, he finds two of them across the room, damp curled hair standing under the shower head with their arms wrapped around each other. They’re engaged in a very intense makeout session; Louis’ surprised no one has given them shit for it. Edward seems to be the one in control, and as Louis intently watches, he can’t help the small twitch in his cock, causing him to quickly look away and go back to his business. His breath hitches at the affect it had on him, but he isn’t ashamed.  
As he washes his body, he realizes that those two were probably admitted for incest. Either that or they’re lonely and they’re all they have. But incest seems most reasonable to him, because by the looks of it, they seem to be very skilled in kissing, and they seem to know what they’re doing.

But as he thinks about it, Louis cannot help the feeling of jealousy settling in the depths of his stomach. Jealous, because they have each other, and Louis has no one. Plus, he finds himself very sexually attracted to the two twins and he wouldn’t mind exploring with them.

“Enjoy the show?” The guy next to him enters his ears, causing Louis to slightly jump. He was so deep in thought about it that he forgot that other people were in the shower room with him.

He slowly averts his gaze to the man next to him, who shut his water off and slowly makes his way towards Louis. He has a smirk on his lips, and he’s looking downwards at something. Louis looks down as well to see what the man is looking at, and a light gasp leaves his lips when he sees that his member is only slightly half erect because of what he saw and what he thought about in his head.

“You know, some of us don’t appreciate homosexuality.” He grumbles, backing Louis up into the wall. He runs his hands down his sides, over his hips and his hip bones before circling his hands around the back to Louis’ bum, running his damp and large hands over the curve. Louis shutters, shaking his head as he tries to move out of the guy’s grip. But he is much stronger than Louis is, and had a firm grip on him.

“But I’ll let it slide this time.” He murmurs, leaning down to purr into his ear. “You’re a pretty girl, aren’t ya? With nice curves and a big bum.” The man squeezes both of Louis’ bum cheeks, before slapping his right bum cheek. Louis whimpers, and only shakes his head once more, but more quickly this time and again, tries to remove the guy’s hands from his body.

He looks down and watches as the guy’s left hand moves back around the front of his body, only very lightly running his finger up the base of Louis’ cock. He cries out in fear, tears streaming down his cheeks as he opens his mouth to call out for help, but the guy grasps his hand over Louis’ mouth very harshly, and whispers, “don’t make this harder for you, young lady.”

Louis only screams into his mouth, hoping that’ll catch someone’s attention but nothing seemed to have worked. At this rate, he should probably just give up because doesn’t stop as he pumps Louis’ cock, very slowly and smiling sadistically when Louis lays his head back and closes his eyes, only because he doesn’t want to watch. He whimpers and loudly cries out in pleasure and fear. He bursts into tears, shaking his head as he repeats “no” because all the people in this shower room are letting some disgusting man rape an innocent boy.

But thankfully, someone steps up and shouts, “leave him the hell alone!” Louis keeps his eyes shut tightly because he doesn’t want to see anything; he’s too scared to even look at anyone right now. He feels the weight of the guy being lifted off of him, and he can hear a thud to the tile floor. His eyes slowly open to see the guy on the floor with a bloody nose, and Harry kicking his stomach as the guy curls up.

“Messed up racist. They ought to put you in solitary confinement for being so disgusting!” He shouts, kicking once last time before making his way to Louis and wrapping his arms tightly around the trembling boy. He rubs his back slowly, up and down while whispering in his ear, “are you okay?” And all Louis can do is shake his head.

“What’s going on here?” A male orderly walks in, and everyone points to Louis as him and Harry quickly pull away. The orderly walks over, and gasps at the sight of the unconscious man on the floor. “What the hell happened!?”

“This guy was raping him, sir. I had to do something!” Harry defends himself, but the orderly slaps his cheek harshly. The sound of his hand coming in contact with Harry’s cheek makes Louis wince, and he looks away as he wipes his tears.

“That is no excuse to physically hurt him!” The orderly shouts before turning to a patient and asking him to get backup and get a gurney.

“The two of you will both be put in solitary.” He speaks in a solemn voice, grabbing onto Harry’s bicep with a firm grip and tugging him out of the bathroom. Other orderlies rush in moments later and Louis watches in horror as they put the guy on the floor on a gurney. Louis slowly shuts the water off, shaking in fear as they rush out of the shower room. He seems to have been forgotten, and everyone goes back to their business, except for Edward, who is staring at Louis with tears streaming down his cheeks.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I just now realized that I've forgotten to put the dates at the beginning of each chapter, so I fixed them and added them in.
> 
> and I'm terribly sorry for being so slow with putting up chapters. I'm super lazy and I feel horrible about it and this chapter isn't the best, but it's important bc you learn some info about Harry and Edward's background- but it's vague so oops! (hi).
> 
> I've been working on a one shot so be on the look out for it. it'll be on my other pseud, larryaimh!

**September 9th, 1931**

With trembling hands and teeth digging into the flesh that make up his pale, thin bottom lip, Louis grabs a red checker- because red is his favorite color and always has to play the red checkers- and moves it into a square, grabbing a black checker he had captured from the move.  
The day room is much quieter today than it is any other day; the patients today seem drowsiesr and less lively than they normally are, and it makes Louis feel a bit more at ease, especially a bit more calmed down from everything that had happened yesterday. After they escorted both Harry and that frightening man, Louis rushed out and rushed back to his cell, and he didn't dare leave it again, even for dinner. 

This morning, Eleanor had taken him to the infirmary to get checked out after taking his pills, just in case he had any STD’s or any bruises or cuts that needed to be checked out. He has a few bruises on his back, but that’s only because of when he was slammed against the wall in the shower room, but other than that he’s completely okay and disease free.

He ate breakfast by himself, not wanting to answer questions from other patients because things seem to spread pretty fast between the warden halls and it's inhabitants. After lunch, he spent the rest of his afternoon in the day room, contemplating and over thinking pretty much anything, asking himself insecure questions, “why me?” or “why was I raped?” and of course, “is it my fault for being homosexual?”

He sits back in his chair with a sigh, staring down at the unfinished game of checkers down on the table in front of him, just wondering why in the hell this place so poorly managed. His face more pale than it usually is, eyes drained of a blue color and instead are more gray with bags circled under them. His hair lays a mess over his forehead, not bothering to comb his fingers through it to make himself look somewhat appealing. 

He suddenly feels a light tap on his shoulder, and he looks back to see his favorite orderly, Miss Calder looking down at him. 

“You have a meeting with Dr. Malik. Your psychiatrist, remember?” Louis remembers the tanned skin man with the dark black hair, and the oddly attractive stubble on his cheeks and the glasses that cover his eyes. The man is completely beautiful in Louis’ eyes, but it's a shame that he's working for such a horrid place and has ugly beliefs.

“Yeah.” Louis mumbles, standing up from the chair and following Miss Calder out of the day room. She walks over to a large door and opens it to reveal a flight of stairs which lead to the second floor. 

“Infirmary and solitary confinement.” Miss Calder says as they pass the door to the second floor, walking up another flight of stairs. “By the way, you can call me Eleanor when others aren't around. I think we’re close enough that you can use my real name.” She looks back at him with a comforting smile, passing another door. “This is the third floor, where we all sleep. Employees only, they'll put you in solitary if you're caught here.” She explains, and the two walk another flight and open the door to the fourth floor. 

It's darker than Louis remembers, and not the literal dark with hardly any lights and candles lit. The atmosphere is less friendly on this floor, and the sound of a painful scream from down the hall completely proves this feeling that's lingering in Louis’ mind. He watches Eleanor gulp nervously; even she looks scared to be in this part of the asylum.

“Down we go.” She softly speaks, voice uneasy as she leads him down to the right of the hall, stopping in front of a door with a sign marked by it, ‘Dr. Zayn Malik.’ She lightly taps at the door, waiting for a voice to tell them to come in before opening it and letting Louis walk inside. 

“I've brought Louis for his appointment.” She states as Louis slowly walks in, looking around at the familiar, and completely boring room he remembers from his first day. Dr. Malik thanks her and she shuts the door gently, leaving Louis with his psychiatrist.

“Louis Tomlinson.” Dr. Malik says, opening a pad of paper and clicking the pen so he can write the date at the top. “We’re gonna start this off with what I call, Friday Check In. You're just going to tell me how you're feeling emotionally, how you're feeling physically, and one thing you've done this past week.”

Louis just blinks at him with a dumbfounded look on his face. What came out of Dr. Malik’s mouth was probably the stupidest thing he's ever heard because this guy probably doesn't even care what he's feeling at the moment. No one ever does in this place, they just care about “curing” people of their “disease.”

“Well…” Louis starts, licking over his thin, chapped lips as he shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “Emotionally I feel drained, physically I feel violated, and in my few days of being here, I've made two friends.” He gives him whatever flows out of his mind first without even thinking any second thoughts about it. He watches as Dr. Malik writes everything he had said before the man looks up at him, adjusting his glasses while starting with questions.

“Why do you feel drained?”

Louis gulps, looking around the room to avoid his psychiatrist’s gaze. “Because this place is tiring.” 

More writing. “Why do you feel violated, Louis?” He asks with actual curiosity this time, looking up to Louis and watching him intently, which only adds on to the younger’s nerves.

He tears up just as the scenes from yesterday replay in his mind, the guy talking with obscene language, the feeling of hands moving over his body as he shakes his head fast. Louis lets out a small cry, and quickly looks away with warm salted tears streaming rapidly down his cheeks, shutting his eyes tightly while wrapping his arms around himself for a feeling of security, but only feeling completely empty.

“Louis?” Dr. Malik tries again, only earning a shake from Louis’ head. “You need to tell me so I can help.”

“You can't help.” Louis is quick to mutter, looking up at him with narrowed eyes, and an irritated look across his face.

His doctor raises an eyebrow, and sits back in his chair with his arms crossed, asking, “And why is that?”

“Because I was raped, Dr. Malik. You can't help what's already done.”

There's an awkward atmosphere radiating between the two men, with the doctor leaning back in to write down the new information on his patient.  
Louis looks away, wiping the tears from his eyes and taking this moment of silence to collect his composure and whatever self dignity he has left.

Thankfully, Dr. Malik dismisses that topic for now and decides not to answer the questions he had written on the side, and moves on to the two mystery friends Louis had made.

“And who are the friends?”

“Harry and Edward.” Louis answers, feeling himself calm down as the questions are directed towards the twins.

Dr. Malik seems a little surprised by this, writing down some questions that need to be answered, questions that Louis will be forced to answer even if they're uncomfortable and revealing.

“Why do you choose to be friends with them?”

Louis opens his mouth, but nothing really comes out. He isn't quite sure why this is relevant but he remains truthful and cooperative in fear of having to go down to Dr. Cowell’s lab room.

“They're nice. And Harry approached me first and so I stayed by his side. He’s just as sane as me. Same with Edward.” He watches the pen scribble words onto the paper, Dr. Malik’s horrible handwriting spelling out, ‘friends because of sanity.’

“This doesn't have to do with the fact that all three of you are in here for similar reasons?”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow at the question, well aware of the Styles Twins’ incest. He had discovered it yesterday in the shower room, which lead to some crazy man raping him and Harry jumping in to save him. It was the reason his cock had twitched yesterday, the reason that got him aroused just thinking about it.

“No.” Louis answers. Dr. Malik writes a few more things before drawing a line across the paper to divide everything.

“Alright, Louis. Regarding to the shock therapy you received with Dr. Cowell, have you noticed any changes in your sexuality?” He asks professionally, sounding like an actual Doctor asking survey questions. Much to his dismay, Louis shakes his head. He feels the same as he did when he walked in on his first day: still sexually attracted to men and not regretting it at all.

“None at all? Have you questioned yourself? Have you looked at a girl and wanted to engaged in any sexual contact with her?”

“Nope, nope, and nope. Still love penis, Dr. Malik.” Louis shoots him a sly smile, not at all regretting what he had said. He watches the psychiatrist write those exact lines down, and when he's finished he takes his glasses off with a frustrated sigh.

“Going to have to schedule more treatment for you in the next few days, Louis. It might not be the best, you know getting shocked and everything, but I think if we start doing this treatment regularly, then it'll work and you'll be out in no time.” He sounds so sure of it when he says it, but Louis only shakes his head with a cold laugh. But his doctor ignores it, and stands up to open the door for him, indicating that their time is up.

“I will see you next Friday, Louis. And I'm terribly sorry about the raping. But maybe God is trying to tell you that you deserve it for being a homosexual.” Zayn holds the door open for Louis, pointing down the hall to the elevator where he’s supposed to go. 

“Dr. Malik.” An Irish voice, Dr. Horan, rings through the hall, happy and lively. The two shake hands with smiles, and engage in a short conversation.

“Just got finished with Dr. Cowell testing a new treatment.” He says, not at all minding that Louis is still lingering between them.

“Oh yeah? Which one?” 

Louis looks back and forth between the older men as they talk, listening to every word with curiosity.

“Skull drill. Can't remember how it benefits someone, but it's supposed to. I just do what he says; he doesn't tell me much about how the treatments work.” The Irishman shrugs, and then looks down to Louis with a smile as though the obviously painful treatment was no big deal. “Hey, I know you. You two are finished? I can lead him back down to his ward.”

“Hey thanks, Niall. I've got a lot of paperwork to file so that's really saving me some time. Catch you later? Have a great rest of your week, Louis.” Dr. Malik waves to both of them as Niall wraps an arm around Louis, placing his hand on the small of his back and leading him down the hall to the ancient elevator.

“Your name is Niall?” Louis softly speaks, looking into each cracked door and into the labs, where doctors clean up or get ready for their next victim.

“It is.” The man smiles, walking up to the elevator and leading Louis inside. Everything closes, and Niall presses the button for the first floor, and thus the two descend.

Louis turns to him, looking up at him with hesitation. “Do you know why Edward and Harry tried to escape?”

Taken aback by the sudden question, Niall looks down at him, seemingly struggling to find an answer. He presses a red button, and the elevator completely stops so they can buy some time to chat about things that should not be talked about.

“They don't deserve to be in here, and I agree with them.” The doctor is looking down at him with a solemn look, which means he's completely serious about it, and he's on their side.

“I don't either.”

The man smiles small, with a nod. “You all don't. You're the only three in here for being sexually attracted to men. There's probably others, but they won't own up to it because they know they need to get better for the sake of everyone else. But only you three know that if it feels okay, then it's right, and you don't care what society says. And I agree with that.”

Louis can't help the wide smile on his lips, because someone in this place actually cares and agrees that they don't deserve this harsh treatment. Sometimes it feels as though no one cares, that people are just placed in here because they aren't normal, but it's nice to know that someone thinks they're just as normal as everyone else out there, and Louis will remember that when he’s feeling trapped.

“They're in here for incest, aren't they?” Louis changes the subject after a long silence.

Niall quickly nods, and presses the same button so the elevator will start moving again. “You're correct. I don't know the full story, but their psychiatrist knows, which is Dr. Malik. Has it filed and everything I think.” He gives Louis an apologetic smile, and walks out with him when the elevator doors open to the main floor. 

They walk out and begin down the hall of the males side, walking through each hall with patients passing them and orderlies walking around, securing the place and making sure no ones up to mischief. When no one is around, Niall reveals what he knows.

“I don't know too much.” He speaks in a low whisper, only for Louis to hear. “But I do know that their father had caught them having sex one time and had started physically abusing them for it. He tried to change them that way but they would still do things together behind his back. Finally their mother butt in and threw them in here for the good of their family.” They stop in front of Louis assigned “cell,” Louis looking up at him with a small frown across his lips.

“In my opinion, they're a bit safer in here. They may have bruises and scars from their father, but shock therapy is better than being beat.” Niall whispers, before patting Louis on the back and walking away as though they never had the conversation in the first place.

Louis walks in and sits down on the edge of his bed with the thought of Harry and Edward having sex lingering in his head. He can't help himself, but the thought of Harry touching his brother in such a sinful way arouses Louis more than he would want it to. The thought of Edward thrusting into his own twin brother makes him wish he could watch it in real life, watching as two men who look exactly alike mark each other's bodies and moan into their mouths as one is riding the other, or as one completely dominates the other. 

He wants the Styles Twins all to himself.

About ten minutes later, he's buried under the sheets and whimpering into his pillow as he releases his cum to the thought of himself on his hands and knees, Edward thrusting into his tight hole while Harry is thrusting his own cock into his mouth, while the two twins are engaged in a hot makeout session of their own.

*****

For dinner, some kind of meat with a gravy on it, bland mashed potatoes, and undercooked broccoli. Louis sits across Edward, who is slumping over his tray of cheap food with his elbow sitting on the table to balance the cheek on his fist. He's been like this for awhile, seemingly upset that his brother isn't with him to brighten his day. And Louis completely understands it.

“He jumps in to save you, and they BOTH get put in solitary.” Edward grumbles. “They should've thanked him for saving you but nope.”

Louis sighs, which indicated that he agrees. “This place is poorly managed.”

Edward grunts in agreement, and lifts his head up and moves his elbow off the table to get up and quickly throw his tray out before anyone can see and force it down his throat. He sits back down and looks Louis dead in the eyes.

“I asked at the reception desk if they would know how long he's going to be up there, and they don't even know!” The twinless man lays his head in his hands, almost crying out at the loss of his brother. 

“We’ll get through this together, and he’ll be back before we know it.” Louis softly speaks, reaching over to wrap his dainty fingers around Edward’s wrist, only to pull his hand away from his face. “C'mon, it'll be okay. You have me.” He's never seen either of them look so helpless. He never knew how attached they were to each other up until this moment. They need each other to survive.

“My brother doesn't do well without me. He's sane, but not when he is alone with only his thoughts to talk to. We do not like to be separated, and they know that's our weakness.” He pauses for a few seconds, a sigh leaving his lips as he holds onto Louis’ hand, and intertwines their fingers. “I'm going to see if Niall can sneak me up there tonight. I would take you with me, but there's already so much at risk with me already going up there.”

Louis looks away when Edward says this, but nods his head because he understands that they are brothers, and they are more important right now. They need each other, and Louis isn't going to intrude on that.

“Tell him I say hi, yeah?” Louis smiles, giving Edward’s calloused hand a gentle squeeze.

Edward smiles small, with the nod of his head, “Of course I will, little one.”

For the rest of the evening until curfew, the two stay attached to the hip, playing endless games of checkers in the day room, with Louis losing each time (except their last game but he knows Edward let him win). Louis decides not to confront them about the incest until they're both together, because he wants to know more about it, but he wants Harry to be there as well. So he waits it off, and continues daydreaming sexual fantasies of them until he completely falls asleep in his “cell.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaack!!!! I am terribly sorry for the long wait!! I've had a bit of writers block with this fic and a motivation / inspiration problem but I'm finally back!!!

**October 3rd, 1931**

“Look, I’m not supposed to be doing this-”

“I know, Niall. I know. But please, I need to see him.”

The doctor sighs, while turning his head to make sure nobody is passing through the ward, before unlocking the door to Edward and Harry’s assigned room and pulling Edward out with a grip on his bicep. It’s dark, due to the halls not being lit up like they should be. It’s early in morning, about two o’clock to be exact. Edward had instructed for Niall (Dr. Horan) to meet him in front of his own room (“cell”) around one fifty, so they could talk about sneaking him to the second floor to see Harry.   
He had told Louis he planned to sneak up, even if Niall told him no, because he _has_ to see him. Louis understands it, he wishes he could go with, but it’s already a risk with Edward going.

“Fine, fine. But you need to do as you’re told, and listen to what I say, okay?” Edward nods fast, staying close to his side as they walk down a few halls, slowly and quietly so nobody wakes up and alarms the orderlies that they’re creeping about after curfew. Edward looks through each door, trying to sneak a look through each small window to make sure patients aren’t awake and lingering inside their room. They successfully make it to the stairs, with Niall opening the door for Edward to quickly walk through and begin their ascend to the second floor, where Harry sits in solitude.

There aren’t any orderlies around- which isn’t even a surprise. The hall of the second floor is dimly lit, and it forces Edward to squint his olive green eyes as he makes his way down, with Niall following close behind. The doors on either side of the hall are made of solid steel with a small window in the top center. They’re more intimidating than the ones on the main floor; they partake in the eery atmosphere that the lack of lighting and silence of the night already give. It gives Edward the chills.

As they progress down the hall, Edward turns his head around to look at the doctor accompanying him. “Do you know which one he’s in?” He whispers.

Niall nods and pushes past the clueless Styles twin and looks at the door numbers, trying to locate which one Harry is in. “He’s in number seventeen. Should be coming up.” And soon enough, they are stopped in front of door number seventeen. Niall uncovers the window and peeks through with squinted eyes.

“They haven’t been feeding him.” Niall states after a few moments of silence. Edward is quick to rush over, placing his hands on Niall’s side and trying to push him over so he could take a look at his other half. “Be careful, Edward!” Niall whisper- shouts as he shoved to the side. “For one, he’s asleep. And second, you could wake up anyone in this corridor so calm down.”

Edward peeks in, staring at his brother’s limp body with a fluttering heart. Harry is laying on the cheap cot, legs curled up with his body facing the door. His curls are tousled, a tangled bird’s nest with a pale face to match, and evident bags under his eyes. His breathing is seemingly soft and steady, with his chest rising and falling in such a slow and tranquil state. But the thing that shows Edward’s weak side, is the strait jacket that refrains Harry from moving his arms; the older twin cries out.

Harry wakes.

“Brother.” Edward almost whimpers.

Harry yawns, and looks around the floor for a few seconds before slowly averting his gaze to where Edward’s voice came from.

It’s as though caffeine and adrenaline filled Harry’s entire body and sourfaced to his brain. Green eyes light up, and his body perks up at the sight of his older twin brother. He quickly hurries off the cot and is quick to run across the small space between it and the door. He looks through the window at his twin, with guilt immediately crossing his face while pain fills his eyes.

He desperately and frantically whispers, voice lower due to just waking up, “Get me out of here.” 

Harry speaks too fast that Edward almost could not process his words. The older of the two lets out a long sigh. “You know I would if I could.”

Edward watches with a crestfallen frown across his lips as Harry groans, which echos throughout the cement walls of confinement and unwanted solitude.

“It’s been a month, Ed.” Harry changes the subject. “They aren’t even feeding me. I feel like I’m going to collapse, honestly.”

The frown on Edward’s face never goes away. His heart breaks at the sight of Harry; it hardly looks like him because of how pale and thin his cheeks and neck have gotten due to the lack of nutrition. He reaches a hand out to caress Harry’s face, running the pads of his fingers over his twin’s cheekbone in attempt to calm him down. Harry purrs in appreciation, with a small smile across his blanched lips.

His eyes flutter closed, while Edward rubs over the skin. “How’s our Louis?” He murmurs, voice sounding as though he’s in a serene paradise.

Edward takes this time to instead examine his beautiful brother’s features, rather than answer the question. The color in his cheeks are gone; no natural blush sits atop the once tan skin. The bags under Harry’s eyes clearly prove he hasn’t been sleeping well. He sleeps best with his brother holding him and singing him to sleep; otherwise, he’s an insomniac. As Harry opens his eyes, Edward notices how the emerald gems in Harry’s irises have faded to a darker shade of a hazel-green; grayer and gloomy.

“Dr. Cowell had another appointment with him five days ago. He is still recovering.” Edward hates to talk about it, because the state Louis is in right now worries him, and to put this heartbreaking information on Harry really builds up a pit of guilt because his brother already has to worry about starvation and getting the hell out of there.

Harry’s eyes narrow at the mention of their most hated man. “What are you talking about? What did he do?”

“The same he does to us, Harry.” Dare he say it? They both know what it is: the electrical shocks that threaten the body of the human. “Louis isn’t responding well to the shocks. If they continue with it, I feel like one day-”

Harry hisses. “Don’t.”

Edward removes his hand from his brother’s cheek and uses the back of it to wipe his forehead- even though there isn’t anything to wipe off. “Harry, I don’t think we should get in too deep with this one. He could die because of how weak and petite his body is.”

“That won’t happen, Edward.” Harry presses. "He’ll be fine and so will we. We haven’t died yet.”

“That’s because we’re more built, we’re stronger.”

Harry sighs and shakes his head, while backing up from the door. His brother is talking nonsense to him and it’s really pissing him off. He turns his back to his brother, dips his head down, and takes a few deep breaths.

“His mental health is declining. I see it everyday.”

"Did I ask?"

"You asked how he was." Edward rolls his eyes at his brother’s sudden attitude and watches as he walks back over to the door. He pushes his head through the window, as much as he can, and murmurs, “Please kiss me. I miss you.”

Harry’s bipolar personality is showing through, one minute pissed off and the next he’s feeling totally affectionate. It’s something Edward is fond of, because it shows that it’s impossible for Harry to stay mad at him. He’ll always be his clingy little baby.

“One quick kiss.” Edward murmurs, while leaning forward to connect his lips with his brother’s. “Niall is watching.”

“I’m turned away. Incest is still-”

“Shut up.” The twins spoke in unison before returning to what originally were going to do. Their lips move together in frantic movements, savoring each other and their taste as though they've been craving it. Edward presses his body against the door, with Harry doing the same on the other side so they could be closer together, taste each other and savor it, and remember it for when they depart. It wasn't intimate, but it wasn't rough. 

They can hear Niall clear his throat just as Edward is about to slip his tongue past the gate Harry had created with his lips. The older twin pulls away, and contently sighs as he watches Harry lick over his sinful lips.

"Until next time, pup."

Harry frowns as Edward completely pulls away from the door. He hates to part with his little brother, hates to leave him to suffer alone with only his conscious. He wants to be there for him, wants to help him get out of there, but it isn't any use, and both of them know that. As he walks down the hall back to the doors they came from, Edward prays - even though he doesn't believe in God like the people of the world do. In hopes that there is someone up there, he prays for help for his brother, for a miracle to get them out of that horrid room, for food to end his growing hunger, and in return, he promises to stay faithful.

"You owe me, Edward." Niall whispers as they walk down the stairs and enter the first floor. Edward looks around to make sure that the coast is clear before making his way back to Ward D.

"I know, Niall. You've told me a thousand times already? What is it you want?"

"I know you're going to ask me to feed him." Niall ignores the question, with a new one of his own. Edward stops in front of his room and stares up at Niall with furrowed eyebrows.

"What will it take for you to do this?" Edward's looking up at the doctor with pleading eyes, desperate and ready to do anything it takes for his brother to survive.

The man doesn't even have to think for even a second. "Suck me off, three times a week for a month."

Edward scoffs at the offer and shakes his head in disgust, while walking into his room. "You're horrible." He says, before shutting the door quietly.

"Your brother can starve then."

Edward quickly opens the door back  
up just as Niall was leaving, grabs onto his wrist to pull him back to the door. 

"Fine fine, I'll do it." He said, with reluctance. "Please, please feed him."

"Don't worry, I will." Niall winks and snatches his arm from Edward's grasp, and makes his way down the hall. Edward lets out a long sigh, and closes the door again so he can submerge himself in slumber and anxiety.

*****

**October 4th, 1931**

Louis wakes up and forces down the medicine for the day.

"You have an appointment with Dr. Cowell today." Eleanor tells him. "One fifteen. I'll be escorting you there."

Louis shutters at the thought of going back up to that lab room. The last time he went, they performed the shock therapy on him again, but the electrical shocks were much stronger and he blacked out after the first couple rounds. Because of this, headaches happen more frequently, and he is always exhausted; his muscles feel stained and his limbs feel as though they are being pricked with pins and needles. It's not as bad as it was a few days ago, but he still doesn't want to go.

So Louis shakes his head and tells her, "I'm not going."

Before Eleanor can reply to her patient, Edward walks through the opened door with a bright smile across his lips.

"Hello, kitten."

Louis stands up from the bed with a small smile across his lips. "I thought I was little one?"

Edward only shrugs his shoulders. "I want my own nickname for you; I have chosen kitten." Edward's eyes lay on Eleanor, and the sight of the orderly puts Edward on edge. "And what can I do for you, miss?" He asks, a bit bothered by her presence.

Eleanor awkwardly clears her throat, but remains standing tall with manners.   
"Louis has an appointment today. Shouldn't you be wandering elsewhere?"

"Is that any of your business?" Edward retorts, raising his eyebrows when the orderly scoffs. "Louis will not be going to that appointment." He adds.

Eleanor crosses her arms and gives the dark twin a dirty look. "Oh? Is that so?" Meanwhile, Louis just looks back and forth between the two, while breathing in the tensioned air that they have created. It's very unsettling.

"I will not allow him to see Dr. Cowell. Nobody should be seeing him until that man is questioned about his work and his experiments and operations."

"You know, Edward. I really don't like the way you're talking to me. I ought to report you for this sudden attitude." At this point, Eleanor is almost seething with anger, while taking authority over him and Louis. It's something Louis has never witnessed, and it raises the goosebumps on his skin.

He cannot take any more of this awkwardness, so he intervenes. "Eleanor, Edward, please stop." Louis walks to his acquainted friend and grabs onto his hand. "Why are you acting like this?"

The question is directed to Eleanor and she seems unphased by it. She proceeds to pick up the tray of small clear plastic containers, each filled with all sorts of variates of pills.

"He's a Styles." Eleanor says as she rushes past Louis and Edward. "What do you expect?"

Louis frowns, watching her disappear out into the hall and move on to the next patient in the room across from his. He then averts his gaze to Edwards, who is chewing on his bottom lip, already staring at the smaller boy. Louis feels the pad of his thumb brush over his known knuckles, which does comfort him and distract him, but it fades when the forgotten question in Louis' head resurfaces.

"What did she mean by that?" He breaks the comfortable silence.

"Kitten, there's something we need to talk about."

Edward peeks his head out the door and glances around the hall, making sure no one is passing by or hanging around the ward. When the coast is clear, he cracks the door and gently sits Louis down on his bed. 

"What's wrong?" Louis asks, a bit nervous about what Edward needs to say. Is he planning to escape again? Did he finally see Harry?

"You need to start playing along and start acting like a heterosexual."

Louis groans because Edward has brought this up in the past. "No way. I don't like to lie."

"He's gonna kill you someday, Louis! You're too weak for those shocks!" Edward whisper shouts, being cautious not to draw attention to Louis' "cell."

"I am not." Louis crosses his arms and pouts like a five year old. "Why do you even care so much, anyways? You don't even know me."

Edward squats down in front of the smaller boy, and gently caresses his cheek with the pad of his thumb. He stares into his eyes, a small frown across his lips as he sighs.

"You're right, kitten. I don't. But none of us belong in here and we've got to stick together."

Louis stares, and watches as Edward's plump, full lips move as he speaks each word. Edward continues on about Dr. Cowell and his evil ways, and all Louis wants to do is just fucking kiss those beautiful lips.

"I know what you're thinking. It won't happen, kitten."

Louis huffs. "Why not?"

The man shakes his head. "It just can't happen, babe."

He's desperate at this point. "Please? One kiss. Just one."

The Styles twin just laughs at him in pure amusement at his desperation. "Why do you want me so bad?"

"I know you're gay."

Edward's eyes widen, with his eyebrows raising at the sudden accusation. He can't deny, because they both know that's it true. The look in Louis' eyes prove that he knows something about them.

"Spill it."

"You're in here for incest. I saw you two in the showers."

Edward sighs and stands up straight, starting to pace back and forth as though Louis had just found out the biggest secret him and Harry had been hiding. It's an uncomfortable topic, and Louis understands it, but it needs to be addressed.

"I love him more than I should, kitten. And I know it's wrong. But at the same time, it just feels right. You understand, don't you?"

Louis immediately nods, because it's how he felt with his ex best friend, Liam. He knows that being sexually attracted to men is wrong to the general public, but wanking to the thought of Liam dominating him felt so right.

Edward smiles, and walks over to the smaller boy sitting down on the edge of the cot. He leans down, and presses a chaste kiss to his forehead, murmuring against his skin, "Now come on, little one. Let's go get some breakfast." Louis savored the attention, smiling warmly as Edward's beautiful and warm lips pressed against his skin. The attention from Edward was his, and he enjoyed every second of it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait but i'm here !!!! don't worry !!! i have problems with motivation / inspiration but i'll try to update more frequently ♡  
> hope you all are enjoying the fic so far!! i've gotten positive feedback so i asssume most of you love it !! ♡

**October 4th, 1931**

"Louis what are you doing?" Edward watches as Louis runs his hands over Harry's pillow, eventually leaning down to take in the lingering scent of the missing twin.  
The two patients had resided to Edward and Harry's room after realizing that wandering around the halls and sitting in the day room is completely boring. They do the same thing everyday under the watch of stressed out and irritable orderlies who hate their job and want nothing to do with the mentally ill. Sit around, make small talk, notice and state observations, wondering about the real world, wander the halls, sit in the center building and listen in on gossip at the reception desks, eat when their time was up, and shower. It was almost the same thing everyday and Louis grew bored. So the two decided to hide away in one of their rooms. Louis is satisfied. 

"How do both of you fit in this tiny thing?" Louis asks, while plopping down on the messily made cot. Edward sits down beside him with a small shrug of his shoulders.

"We honestly don't. We sleep on the floor." Louis had learned that Edward and Harry are the only two in the entire asylum that is allowed to share a room, or cell. In Louis' envious mind, he thought it wasn't fair, given the reason they were put in the asylum. Instead of opening his mouth and asking how this came to be, Louis just frowns.

"How? Don't you get cold?" 

Without a word or an answer to the question, Edward stands up, pulling Louis up with him so he can rip the sheet off the bed, where he then spreads it out on the floor. He grabs the extra blanket each patient is given and lays it down on top of the sheet. He then grabs his and Harry's pillow and lays them down at one end of the "bed" Edward had made. Louis watches every bit of movement made by the Styles twin with a longing look in his eyes, because he wishes he had someone as sweet as Edward in his life. 

"It isn't ideal." Edward breaks the silence and looks to Louis with a small smile across his beautifully pale plump lips. "But it's enough to satisfy him."

Louis lays down on the bed of blankets, and lays his head on Edward's pillow. The older man is quick to lay next to him, with his hands on his own chest and his eyes closed. 

"How did you get them to let you share a room anyways?"

Edward pondered over the question, he really did. But was it something he wanted to share with Louis? Was it his business anyways?

The twins have always been, closer than normal twins. Normal twins always stick together, they occasionally have their fights, share things, and usually end up being best friends until their teenage years. Harry and Edward had nobody else but each other. Identical twins like them are very rare in the world, and are often treated differently rather than specially. Their mother, Anne, feared that she would be frowned upon for giving birth to twins who look exactly alike, so she kept them hidden in the shadows of their home and homeschooled them. With that, the two had irregular social skills and only stayed with each other because they were the only friend they had.

Edward wanted to refrain from answering the question because Louis would not understand; nobody really does not that he's thought about it. So he softened his own breathing and created light snores so that Louis would think that he was asleep. And it worked, thankfully.  
The atmosphere in the crusty and seemingly melancholy room was silent, calming, almost. It isn't something that is achieved often; theres always a patient screaming or theres one crying but at this time, it was peacefully silent and Edward took advantage of it as much as he could.

And then a few minutes later, he felt something cold run across his bottom lip. The pad of a chilled thumb created sparkles and tingles as it ever so slightly rubbed across his pale bottom lip, and it caused Edward's eyes to jerk open and ask, "What are you doing?"

Louis shushed him, and Edward's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Louis' next actions would get them in trouble. The kiss, the kiss that Harry would most likely hate him for, the kiss that got them into so much trouble but no matter how much Edward wishes he could regret it, he can't because Louis captivates him in such a way that he finds himself tangled in a trance that gives Louis control of him. That is why he didn't stop, he couldn't even if he wanted to.

But Edward kept his ears peeled in case anyone found him, and when he heard a high pitched shriek, he immediately stopped. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw an orderly running off yelling something he could not quite make out since he was still under Louis' intimate spell. Thats when he knew they fucked up. His adrenal glands filled his body and brain with an invisible adrenaline that can't be stopped, which caused him to quickly push Louis off his lap and listen for anything else. He heard voices calling for backup while Louis shouted, "Hey what gives!" in a very angry voice that Edward would deal with later. Edward was quick to stand up, but stumbled in the process due to the small shaking of his legs. He wasted no time hurrying to the door to look both ways, left and right. His right was clear, only patients endlessly roaming the halls as lost souls, but a quick turn to the left, and he was greeted with a few orderlies and doctors rushing down the hall, Eleanor leading them.

"Fucking around again, Edward?" A man shouted as they pushed him out of the doorway.

"Jesus Christ, you guys are fucking sick!" Another yelled in disgust, while trying to grab ahold of Edward but the infamous twin decided that he had enough of them degrading him and treating him like his entire being a disease. He threw a punch to the man who grabbed ahold of one of his biceps, aiming right for his jaw with a successful blow. Everyone abrupted into screams and yells, and a lockdown bell was heard throughout the halls of the ward. It was the worst fight they've had in about a year or so and Edward already successfully took down two of the orderlies and one of the doctors trying to control him.

He blacked out and he wouldn't stop. It was time to fight for the freedom he would never have.

More doctors grabbed a hold of him, a tight grip around his biceps while he tried to kick everyone away. He freed one so he could shove an older man into the wall, but his body weakened once he saw Louis out of the corner of his eye. Eleanor was trying to get him out of there but Louis was trying to fight his way through the crowd to get to him.

"Don't touch him!" Edward heard the familiar voice of his little one and gained his much needed strength to break an arm away from someone. Louis grabbed onto it but the doctors tried to pull the two apart. Louis held on as tight as he could. Louis tried to pull Edward out of the brawl between him and the doctors and the orderlies but he was too weak and Edward saw it in his eyes. As he opened his mouth to tell Louis to give it up, Louis was shouting at someone.

"No no please don't do that to him-" He could tell Louis was becoming more vulnerable to them but he wouldn't let himself get to that point. As he tried to kick an orderly's ankle, he watched as Louis reached over to grab onto something, screaming to get away but Edward felt the small prick in his bicep, the thing Louis was trying to get, but failed. He grew weak and turned his head so he could look at Louis, who was horrified at the sight, almost bursting into tears. No one has ever cried for him like Louis did.

His smaller hand slips from his own, and the world around him darkens and greets him with a deep sleep. The last thing he hears is the broken voice that belonged to his Louis. "No don't touch him, please."

Edward gave it his all. It was all the rage he had left. He fought as hard as he could and this time, he didn't hold back.

*****

Unfortunately, Louis wakes up in the back of a lab room - specifically Dr. Cowell's - with no recollection of anything. He remembers his time with Edward: the homemade bed on the dusty floor, the kiss, but he can't seem to remember how he even got here. He lifts his head up, only to let out a groan from the ache in his head, and that's what gets his least favorite person talking.

"You know," Louis hears a familiar, very deep and menacing voice in his ears. Dr. Cowell stands in front of him in his lab coat, putting on a pair rubber gloves. He has more stubble this time, his hair neatly combed back. He has a very harsh glint in his eye, representing that of something evil. He hides it though with a thin frown across his lips and with a look of disappointment. Louis goes to stand up, but the leather straps around his wrists keep his arms secure to the arms of the chair, and the straps around his ankles keep his legs secure to the legs of the chair, which indicates he cannot get up, or even move for that factor. "I really thought we were going to make great progress today." The doctor finishes his statement, while pacing back and forth. Louis watches him with narrowed eyes; this man doesn't give a shit about progress.

"What's this about you kissing Edward Styles?" He asks when Louis doesn't answer. Silence again. "Well, Louis. I guess I'm just going to have to punish you for your God - awful actions. This homosexual contact will not be tolerated here at Bradley Bay Sanitarium." Dr. Cowell disappears behind him, while Niall suddenly appears in front of him with a guilty look across his naturally pale face. The two engage in a silent conversation, Louis' eyes pleading with desperation to help him out of this, out of whatever is to come, and Niall responds with the same look of guilt and sorrow, silently saying 'I'm sorry, I can't help you.' He then covers Louis' eyes with a blindfold, causing the younger's breath to hitch.

"W-What's going on?" Louis stutters out, moving his head in all sorts of directions and angles, even though everything is black and he cannot see. Louis feels the chair being pulled back a bit into a specific spot. He suddenly feels two pieces of wooden rods press into his ears, but thankfully they are not shoved all the way in. They are only there to hold his head in place, tilted at a specific angle, feeling as though he is looking up to the ceiling. But it is something much worse. The rods are connected to a small man build contraption known for giving the Chinese Water Torture.  
Louis' heart rate speeds up. He feels it rapidly slamming against the cage in his chest as he awaits for what's to come. It's too silent - except for Dr. Cowell setting everything up. Louis wonders if its more electrical shocks. He wouldn't mind it. Although his body is too tired for them.

He starts to panic. "What's gonna happen? Are you gonna kill me?" Louis rambles on his worries and fears and his voice grows quiet when he feels it. Just that tiny sting of H2O on his forehead is enough to completely shut up him. A few minutes pass, minutes of silence and angst because isn't it going to happen again?

Another drip. It stings; it's too hot for his skin.

"Please stop." Louis cries out, and earns a chuckle from Dr. Cowell, who stands in front of him to watch the torture.

"Last time I checked, you're the one who violated a rule here." Louis groans at the next drop in his forehead. "Every second of the day, you are sinning. You are here because you are in need of purification. And you going around kissing every guy you think is attractive and thinking about getting into their pants will not help you."

The drop echoes. His words echo. Louis cries out. 

_Drip. Drip._ Why is echoing? Where's the droplet? Louis shutters; he can't see. He doesn't feel anything on his forehead - why is that so annoying? Where's the water? Why can he hear the drips? Louis tries to get out of his seat or move his head but he's stuck. Where is everyone-

 _Drip._ Louis doesn't feel it on his forehead but he certainly heard it - he swore he felt it, but nothing actually happened, and Dr. Cowell - Satan - asks if he's okay but doesn't actually care, just smiles at how ridiculous Louis is and Louis almost screams because he seriously isn't okay.

"I can't take it!" Louis loudly shouts and starts thrashing about in the chair, trying to get out of the leather that is holding his limbs down but it isn't any use. Dr. Cowell laughs because Louis didn't last long. "Make it stop, make it stop!" He pleads, and proceeds to cry. They leave Louis there for a few more hours just so Louis can understand his punishment and hopefully learn his lesson. But all Louis has learned is that this place is cruel, and that he would rather commit suicide than stay here any longer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man i suck at updating lol. i had today off so i decided to finally write this chapter !! sorry if its sucky, seems to be a bit of a filler but at least you get to see a bit of what louis is thinking!! aaaaand happy ending to this chapter yayay !! well its kinda happy, kinda not. ill let you decide :) x  
> and by the way, i would never give up / stop writing this fic. even if i really wanted to. x  
> -Emma

**October 5th, 1931**

For years, Edward obeyed the rules. He refrains from causing problems and goes with whatever happens to him. He takes whatever is given to him: shocks, medication, commands, etc. Whatever it is, he goes with it because that is the key to survival in Bradley Bay Sanitarium. It goes for everyone: if anyone resisted or went against the rules, or the orderlies, or the psychiatrists, or the doctors, or anyone at this facility, then it will only get worse and one would not survive for as long as they hoped. But this time, it's different. He's sick of staying quiet, he's sick of listening to them tell him he's fucked up. He has built up so much rage over the years he's been hear, and finally took it out on the people who are ruining the lives of many people, including himself and his twin, and even Louis. He took a stance for once, and he'll never regret it.

"Wheres Dr. Cowell?" Edward asked later that night. Strapped to an operating table in his least favorite lab room, Edward woke and thankfully, the person in the room was somebody he can confide in: Dr. Niall Horan. After what had happened, the last person he wanted to see was Simon because he knew for a fact he would've given him a lobotomy.

"He's on leave right now. His wife just had a baby." Niall simply answered, seated on a chair next to the operating table Edward was confined to.

Edward grumbled in reply, "Hope she died giving birth." It was a horrible thing to say, but the cruel man deserves it after everything he's done to the patients.

"I'm sorry, Edward." Niall softly spoke, while getting a needle ready in the syringe filled with an unknown liquid. Edward watched with furrowed brows, puzzled at his words.

"What are you talking about?" He asked as Niall cleaned off the needle before positioning it near Edward's bicep. The doctor hesitated with a sigh, standing completely still and avoiding Edward's gaze. There was something he was hiding, something he obviously didn't want to say.

"I have to do it."

Edward's voice grew louder, and defensive as the needle was pressed into the flesh surrounding his own bicep. "The fuck are you talking about?" Irritated that Niall wouldn't respond, Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head with a pathetic laugh. "You're unbelievable."

"You didn't have to hurt them." Niall immediately retorted, while pushing the top of the syringe so the liquid would enter the twin's body. "What you did was unacceptable. And I'm talking about kissing Louis and fighting the staff."

Edward scoffed and shook his head with disbelief at the crap Niall was saying. "You've been brainwashed by Satan Cowell. How lovely is that?"

Niall ignored him and continued to let the secret medicine flow into Edward's skin. He changed the subject. "It's a lithium mood stabilizer." Niall started his explanation after setting the syringe down on the cart next to him. He then started to unstrap Edward's wrists from the table, as well as his ankles and forehead. "It's a much stronger sedative."

"Oo I'm so scared. Jesus, Lord, please help me!" Edward mock screamed in terror, which earned a hard slap to his cheek. Edward immediately quieted down once the sting in his cheek made itself evident. He then sat up with Niall helping him off the table, completely taken aback by his former friend's behavior. It really goes to show that people easily turn on you. He was stupid to trust Niall in the first place, and he especially felt stupid for thinking an employee actually understood him.

"You'll be too exhausted to do anything. Which is going to help your punishment. It'll be more effective this way." With a tight grip on his wrist, Niall lead Edward out of the lab room and across the hall to a locked metal door. "I came up with this one myself."  
Edward sighed. He could feel himself already feeling tired, too tired to really give a shit anymore. He stayed silent, not bothering to fight and watched Niall unlock the door. It was then pushed opened, and he is then pushed into the room as the lights were turned on. The room was medium sized, but what bothered Edward was that everything was completely, purely white, and a girl stood in the far right corner, nude from head to toe.

"It's fucking white." Edward grumbled, looking around at the bare walls. He refrained from looking at her. "And what the hell is up with the unclothed girl?" He grumbled moments later.

Niall ignored the question, and ended the conversation with, "Have fun." Edward's eyes widened when Niall spoke, and quickly turned his body around so he could further question the doctor that betrayed him. But the door was already slamming shut and being locked. He gulped once the lock was completed, and looked the door up and down as though he was checking it out for the first time. The fear in his olive green irises easily showed, and he was thankful nobody could see it. The sedative was working fast, and he could feel himself grow tired and more tired, weaker and vulnerable. His muscles suddenly tensed when he felt something creeping on his back. Little did he know that the girl in the room with him was untying his hospital gown.

"Welcome to your punishment."

*****

**October 6th, 1931**

_Family,_

_It has been a little over a month since I have been admitted to Bradley Bay Sanitarium. And I will be quite honest, I am not doing very well. Two days ago, I was punished for kissing a boy I really like. They did some kind of water torture on me. It was horrible. I couldn't even see anything so I had to wait for the next drop and it was driving me insane because I would never know when it was coming. It seemed like it went on for an hour and it felt like the drops of water were burning a hole into my skin. It was hot and it stung. Even after they sent me back to my cell (thats what I call it, because thats what it feels like) I was still paranoid that more drops were coming, but they weren't._

_I've made two friends, they are twins named Edward and Harry. Harry is in Solitary because he saved me from getting raped. I don't know where Edward is. They took him away. He is the one I kissed._

_I have been feeling awful lonely lately. I think it's because I've lost everyone I've ever loved. Will you tell Liam I said hi?_

_It's really cold here and I miss the summer nights I used to spend with Liam. I wish I hadn't told him anything._

_I've been hiding for years, mother and father. Why won't you accept me? I'm still your son, Louis William Tomlinson. I am just like everyone else. Why don't you understand that?_

_I am depressed, mother and father. I want to die. I would rather be burned at the stake like Jesus himself than suffer in this cold asylum. I am not crazy, I don't have any mental problems, why make me stay? Why can't you understand that it's okay to like different people, it's okay to like the same gender. Why don't you accept that? What's wrong with it?_

_You all say its so wrong, but mother and father, it feels so right to me. Why can't I be happy?_

_Get me out of here and I can show you that it's okay. Edward and Harry agree with me. They're in here for incest, they're homosexuals too. I'm not the only one. And soon, you'll realize that love is love and this is natural and you cannot change someone's sexual attraction by shoving them into an asylum._

_I am suffering. Let me be happy. They're horrible here. They don't care about anyone. The orderlies act nice but they're against us. They hate their job and I do too. I feel sorry for them and anyone else suffering._

_My psychiatrist isn't helping at all. The pills I take have no affect on me, I feel more tired and more depressed than I should be._

_I haven't smiled for awhile._

_Dr. Cowell hurts me with electrical shocks and degrades me._

_Nothing will impact my sexuality, mother and father._

_Write back, please. If you don't, then I have no option but to think you are cowards who cannot confront their own aching son. I will forever be ungrateful to you two if I do not hear back and read your thoughts. Write back, I deserve to hear what you have to say to me._

_Louis._

*****

**October 8th, 1931**

"I scheduled this last minute because we always read letters before we mail them." Dr. Malik holds up a few pieces of paper, which is the letter Louis had written a few days ago. His handwriting is mainly chicken-scratch, because it has been months since he's last written anything on paper.  
After the painful water torture, Louis had not left his room for two days, and during those two days, he got the idea to write a letter for his parents, whom he hasn't seen for a little over a month. He's still very upset with them for putting him into this Hell. They immediately went against him once Liam reported what had happened between them, and didn't give Louis the chance to explain anything. He could not defend himself.

Louis believes that there isn't anything wrong with the letter. It's all truth and it deserves to be seen by his parents. They deserve to know how horrible this place is and how nobody is getting the real help that they need. But the dark look on Dr. Malik's face proves that nobody wants that truth to get out to the public. How typical.

After a few minutes of lingering silence, Louis looks up to the man in front of him with a straight face, narrow eyes, pursed lips, because he will not take back what he said.

"When patients write letters to families or friends, they tend to mention the highlights of their stay here." Louis can hear the sarcasm, and watches as the psychiatrist rips off a piece of yellow lined paper from his pad of paper. The man then clicks his pen and starts to write the date in the top right corner.

"You talked about the water torture, which is a violation of a code here at Bradley Bay Sanitarium." Louis rolls his eyes. "Patients are not allowed to reveal any kind of punishments they have been put through, they cannot release any details about it, symptoms, etcetera. You mentioned pretty much all of those."

Louis slouches in his seat with a sigh. Dr. Malik then starts to read over the letter for the umpteenth time. A distant scream in the background ruins the silence.

"You think its okay to be a homosexual?" The man stops reading to ask the question. "You honestly think that one day people will accept it? You're only kidding yourself, Louis." Dr. Malik shakes his head, with a chuckle leaving his lips. As Louis watches with a clenching jaw, the man starts to write a fake letter.

"Mother and Father." He says out loud so Louis can know what he is writing for him. "I have been doing substantially well here at Bradley Bay Sanitarium." And that's when Louis' heart starts to sink, because it's all an obvious lie that will never be truth.

"Stop." Louis cries out, a sign of weakness, but Dr. Malik only continues.

"My progress grows everyday and I hope to be released someday."

Louis tries to unclench his jaw, but he fails at doing so because soon enough, he is seething with anger because of the amount of disrespect this asylum has. The only reason they read letters before they send them off is because they do not want their secret getting out to the real world - the secret of punishment and torture to patients just because they are different from the average Britain. These patients are different from society just because they need help with a mental illness.

"We have made little to no progress, Tomlinson." Changing the topic, Dr. Malik sets his pen down so he can focus his attention on the uncooperative patient. "How do you expect to make it out of here if you keep acting up?"

Louis only shrugs with a sigh of defeat. He already knows he'll never make it out, so what's the point of fighting anymore?

Louis retreats to the Center Building after the pointless appointment and cozies up in a seat in the corner. He has a Deja vu moment; when he was first admitted, he remembers sitting by himself in this exact same spot, watching the day go by, watching patients and orderlies, watching the receptionists. Except this time, he is more drained than he used to be, physically and emotionally.  
To keep himself awake, he peeks through the shades and looks out the window to nothing but gloomy skies, signifying that it is in fact October in England. He'll get to miss Halloween; carving pumpkins and dressing up for it, trick or treating, passing out candy. Then he'll miss November, and Thanksgiving, and then his own birthday will come up sooner than he'll expect and it'll be depressing and lonely, just like Christmas and the New Years. And it all has him sobbing because he'll miss all of the joyous holidays he used to spend. Instead, he'll have to celebrate these wonderful times alone, in this cold-hearted retched place and-

"Why're you crying?"

He winces at the sudden interruption, and slowly looks up to see the blonde girl he had met back in the beginning of September, exactly one month ago. He couldn't quite remember her name, was it Mary? Carrie? 

Louis shrugs his shoulders and is quick to wipe away his eyes with a sniffle of his nose. He collects himself and composes himself before looking up to the girl with another shrug. "Just cause."

"I think we've met before. You're Louis right?"

Louis nods. "Who are you again?"

The girl opens her mouth to speak but an orderly walks up with a polite smile. "Her real name is Perrie, but today she's Daisy. Daisy, we have your appointment to get to."

Perrie - _Daisy_ \- suddenly grows cold, with a flame of rage in her eyes. "No no no! It is not Perrie! It is Daisy!" She screams and everyone stops in their tracks to watch as she thrashes around, grabbing a lamp off the coffee table and throwing it against the wall. The lamp just misses Louis - thankfully - and thats when people are running up to help the orderly control Perrie, or Daisy, or whoever she is.

"It's not Perrie! It's not Daisy! It's Louise!" She shouts, and proceeds to hit and kick some of the orderlies. Louis is completely mortified by how fast her mood had changed, and remembers that when they had first met at the Chapel Building, she was very hyper and perky, always asking Louis questions. To see her act out like this is very odd.

The girl is pricked with a sedative and a few seconds later, she grows tired and eventually gives up fighting. About a minute later, she falls into an orderly's arms and is then dragged off to the elevator. It was sad to see that Perrie could not control herself, and Louis prays that she stays okay while she sees her doctor.

A few minutes later, Louis is sent to elsewhere because janitors needed to clean up the broken bulb on the floor. Louis hopes he doesn't get cancer from the mercury that lingered into the air after the bulb broke. But honestly, he wouldn't care if he were to die because he is stuck in here anyways for the rest of his life, until he grows old with the Styles twins. Death would be the perfect escape.

As Louis walks back to the D Ward with his and the Styles twin's room, he notices ahead a familiar head of curls being walked to the Styles' room. The orderly takes off the strait jacket that was confining Harry's arms and shoves him into his cell. Louis walks a bit closer, a few doors away, and leans against the wall to blend in and act casual.

He eavesdrops. "You heard what they said, Styles. No more shit like that. If you beat another patient up, you're in solitary for the rest of your life. You got it?" The orderly walks past louis after getting the okay from Harry, and Louis is quick to hurry into his room. Louis enters without a word, with a small smile across his pale lips. Harry's back is turned to him, and his head is slightly tilted down for whatever reason.

"Harry, you're back."

Harry immediately turns around, face completely pale, dark bags under his eyes with droopy, tired eyes. His hair is a tangled curly mess but the smile on his face shows that he is fighting through everything.

"My little one. It's been quite the while."

Louis rolls his eyes and hurries over to the older man, so he can jump into his arms and wrap his own around the man's neck. It has been too long since he's seen Harry, it's felt like an eternity without the other Styles twin. He's missed him a little too much, and he's glad to be the first to see him finally out of Solitary. Harry wraps his arms tightly around his little kitten, and presses a kiss to the top of his head for reassurance that everything is okay now, and that he isn't going to leave like that again.

"Are you okay?" Louis asks, not at all minding the dingy stench of Harry, who hasn't showed for weeks. Harry shuts his eyes tightly, and holds onto the smaller boy as though he would lose him. 

"I'm surviving, Louis." After a few moments of rejoicing silence. "Just like you." Louis whimpers when he says it, and shakes his head while pulling his head away so he can look up into Harry's faded green orbs. He needs to tell Harry what happened between him and Edward, but he is afraid that Harry will not take it well. Louis remembers Edward saying something about how the two are very close and are always together, how they're protective of each other. Harry is a little weaker than Edward is, mentally, and Louis doesn't want to break him down all over again after just being released from Solitary.

"Where is my brother, little one?" Harry whispers, while pressing his forehead to Louis.' Louis chews on his bottom lip, and breaks the contact between his and Harry's eyes, looking down to avoid the look in his eyes once he tells him everything.

"I-" He starts, with a whimper following.

"What? Where is he, Louis?" He can tell Harry is starting to get concerned, he can hear it in his voice, and thats when the tears start to hotly stream down his cheeks.

"I don't know."

He feels Harry's body tense against his, and the warmth radiating between them has suddenly gone cold. Harry slowly pulls away, and is quick to grab Louis' jaw and forcefully tilt his head up to look into his suddenly dark eyes, filled with both panic and anger.

"What the fuck happened!?" He shouts, and Louis cries out because this is the first time he's seen Harry's dark side.

"We-we kissed and they saw!" The tears fall down his cheeks and run into Harry's thumb that is pressed to his chin. Harry releases his grip and dips his head down with a sigh, suddenly calming down from his rage of horror.

"I don't know where they took him." Louis whispers as Harry slowly lifts his head up to look at him. The two's eyes meet, and Harry is quick to pull him into a bone crushing hug. He clings to the smaller boy, and presses kisses all over his forehead with another sigh.

"We'll find him, babe." He mumbles, while a hand starts to stroke the back of Louis' head. Louis accepts the gestures with a small smile, relaxing under the soothing touch and thankful that Harry didn't kill him while his rage took over. Louis wraps his arms around Harry's torso to hug him back, and hold him close. It's the warmest Louis has felt for weeks now, and he doesn't want it to end.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving guys!! here's a new chapter even though it probably sucks!!! i hope you guys like it though; i just doubt myself a lot because i always feel like my writing is shit. i hope it isn't :(

**October 9th, 1931**

"Alright alright! Can everyone quiet down!?" Dr. Horan stands in front of the crowd who were summoned to gather in the day room for an announcement from the absent Dr. Cowell's assistant.

Patients are all congested together in the middle of the room, with staff members standing away from them in the back. On the outside of the crowd, Louis stands beside Harry, tucked away in his side as orderlies try to calm most of the disruptive patients down. Louis and Eleanor have not talked; the two have obviously been avoiding each other, seeing as a new orderly has been assigned to him. His gaze averts to the young adult he thought he knew, and Harry joins as she whispers to a frantic patient, trying to get him to quiet down and stop panicking over nothing, but the older man's babble continues.

"Evil!" He shouts, while pointing to Dr. Horan who just laughs the accusation off.

"Ernie there is no evil here." Niall speaks with a soft, sincere voice, and puts on a polite smile. "Only good."

The allegations seem to catch the room's attention. Some of the patients quiet down so they can hear what's going on, and turn their heads between Niall and Ernie, waiting for something to happen next.

"EVIL!" Ernie shouts and pushes Eleanor over, who knocks down a few more patients with her fall. The room then abrupts into chaos with insanity yelling one over the other. Some agree with Ernie, some are on Dr. Horan's side, and some just start to panic and cry as the sickly patients yell over one another.  
Harry holds his little one close so the two don't get mixed up into the mess, and they watch as the room slowly gets out of hand around them- like the rest of this asylum.

Screams and cries fill their ear, and each voice meshes together which causes Louis to lose focus on just one conversation. He watches the actions of the patients, some shake, and some try to take deep breaths to calm themselves down. There is uncontrollable bickering all around the room, shouts of anger, fear, aggression, insanity. Orderlies quit trying after awhile, and allow the patients to carry on with their allegations and aggressive words. Will this madness ever end?

"QUIET!"

Follows completely and utter silence. Every body in the day room freezes in place, as though time has completely stopped. All heads and eyes turn to where the shout had came from.

Dr. Horan- Niall- continues the announcement he planned as though nothing had previously happened. "We are adding some new policies today." He pauses, and patients whisper nonsense of wonders about these newly developed policies. "Punishment baths, for those who love to act up. And daily tasks, because all you low-lifers do is sag around and cry." The doctor stops for a moment in case anyone interrupts. The room only stays silent (with fear), so he continues.

"Punishment baths are for those who disobey or act in a way that is not tolerated. You will sit in either hot or cold water for a specific amount of time, and you will he confined so you cannot get out and escape. Daily ta-"

"What if we drown?" A patient across the room interrupts mid-explanation, and Niall slowly turns his head with dissatisfaction. 

"Well, Jerry. That would just be a shame now wouldn't it?"

Louis can't help the gasp that leaves his lips. He didn't think Niall could he so cruel, especially to the patients. He looks up at Harry, who looks astounded at the behavior they're seeing from him.

"What's going on with him? Isn't he on our side?" Louis whispers as Niall and Jerry continue their unneeded conversation about drowning.

"I don't know." Harry mumbles, looking down at Louis to whisper into his ear. "But I think he turned on us."

"Someone take him out. I'm sick of his questions." Right when he gave out the command, a few orderlies lead Jerry out of the day room and back to his ward. Patients whisper.

"As I was saying," Niall continues, starting to pace back and forth. "Daily tasks will be essential. You will be assigned a task for the day, and we expect you to complete it. You could work with the laundry, in the kitchen, with the janitors, maybe work with some of the orderlies if they need the extra help. Work outside, probably rake leaves since it's autumn right now. Whatever task your orderly gives you, you need to do it until they don't need the help. Do you guys understand this? These policies will be in effect starting tomorrow."

"Daily tasks?" Louis grumbles, looking up to Harry with a sour look across his face.

"Is this because people are quitting? I wouldn't want to work here." The two share a quiet laugh between them, that is until an orderly swats them on the back of their heads and tells them to shut it.

"Are there any questions?" Niall asks before the crowd could abrupt again.

"I've got a question." Louis' eyes widen in horror when he hears the rasped voice next to him. Harry has his arm raised like a teenager in school needing to ask a question in class. The attention is turned on him, which is something Louis tries to dodge, and Niall raises an eyebrow before carrying on the initiated conversation.

"What is it, Harry?"

Harry wastes no time being blunt. "Where's my brother? Has Simon taken him for one of his illegal experiments?"

The crowd whispers and murmurs amongst each other, and the orderlies scold them, asking them to shut up and stop listening. Harry is crossing a very dangerous line, everyone knows it, even himself but he pushes forward because that's how he is.  
Louis whispers to him to let it go, and that they'll bring Edward back once they're finished with him, but Harry doesn't budge. He has the right to know where his other half is.

"Do you really want to know?" It was as if a demon had taken over the once trusting doctor. The smirk plastered on his lips gave it away, and the evil glint in his eyes are enough to give Louis chills, and of course, rile up Harry.

"Yeah. I really do." 

Louis anxiously chews on his bottom lip. "Harry don't push it." He whispers.

"Can someone take Mr. Styles to the fourth floor please? Stop him in front of Dr. Cowell and I's lab room; I'll meet you up there."

The meeting is soon dismissed, and patients are let out to carry on with their dreary day. The crowd disperses, but Louis remains close to his savior.

"Harry are you crazy!? You just got out of solitary!" Louis whisper- shouts as the orderlies fight over who's taking him and who isn't.

Harry turns his body so he's fully facing the younger, and places his calloused hands on his dainty shoulders. He looks down at him with a small sigh leaving through his nose. 

"Louis." He starts, and Louis slowly tilts his head up to look up at him with a frown. "You don't seem to understand how me and my brother work."

Louis lets out a pathetic laugh." I've only been here for like, a month. And I still know nothing about you two."

"And that's how it'll be."

"C'mon, Styles." Two orderlies take him by the biceps and pull him away from Louis. The warmth from Harry's hands vanish, and Louis watches as he is guided out of the day room to God knows where. He wonders why they are the way they are, why they never let anyone in, why they don't include others into their little orb that's been developed for however many years. 

But they can't depend on each other forever, right?

 

The twin's lack of presence is troubling. They always guide him and tell him what's right and what's wrong. That's why they've taken Louis under their wing, right? But ever since they've done that, they've gotten into a whirlpool of trouble; and they were getting better than they used to be and we're showing tons of progress.

"This is my fault." Louis murmurs to himself. He's leaning against the wall as the semi-warm water falls from the shower head, and cascades down his body creating beautiful droplets against his skin, running all the way down to his legs and eventually to the musty tiled floor. Back in the corner again, away from everyone else with a lonely bar of soap.

"It's my fault." He whispers to the soap, as though it's listening to all of his worries and doubts. "Isn't it? God I'm the worst." Louis is known to blame himself for situations that aren't even his fault.

"Shouldn't have said anything." He murmurs, more to himself than to the inanimate soap. "I could be happy. I-I could be happy. I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?"

Louis slightly jumps in place at the sudden voice behind him, and is quick to turn around to where the voice had came from. He's met with a fellow patient, much taller than himself and somewhat built, a warm shade of brown circling his eyes with damp black hair.

"Hi?" Louis answers, backing up a bit on instinct because of what happened the last time someone approached him in the shower.

"You're the one who hangs around the twins, right?" 

Louis slightly shrugs, even though he should be nodding. The man chuckles and holds out his hand. "Where's my manners? I'm Blair."

Louis takes a good few minutes to examine the man's hand before softly shaking it. "Yeah. Hi." He mumbles.

"I'm just as sane as you are, don't worry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm on your guys's side."

Louis raises an eyebrow and pulls the man closer into the corner space so they don't draw any attention to themselves. Security in the washroom hall has been tight lately; male orderlies litter the hall and make sure patients are doing what they're supposed to be doing. They often check in the shower room to make sure nobody is causing trouble, so Louis makes sure to keep an eye out for any orderlies who might peek in to check around.

Blair stands in front of the water, the warm liquid being blocked from Louis which causes the smaller boy to shiver and cross his arms for any kind of warmth that was lost from the water. 

They keep their voices soft just to be on the safe side. "How can I even trust you? I've never seen you around." Louis mumbles, while staring into Blair's muddy brown eyes.

"Because, I've been looking for ways to get out of here. I've been here even longer than the twins and I know this place better than I know my own home. I have photographic memory. Have you heard of that phrase before?"

Louis shakes his head. He's a little unsure because here's this guy suddenly talking to him and running his mouth about how he knows the asylum like he knows the blueprints exactly to detail. For Louis, he's learned not to trust anyone. Why should he believe Blair?  
He speaks with confidence, that's one thing. He also keeps eye contact with Louis, and Louis has noticed throughout his high school years that people tend to drift off when they lie to him. Blair really sounds like he knows what he's talking about, but could his knowledge be a delusion?

"When someone has photographic memory, it means they can easily remember information and they can very easily see it in their head. When I take time to look at something, I can remember it. I can see a whole map of Bradley Bay Sanitarium in my head." He pauses for a few seconds, leaving Louis dumbfounded because why is he coming to Louis with this information?

"What does this have to do with me or the twins?" Louis slowly asks, raising an eyebrow skeptically. 

"Because, Louis. We're going to plan a great escape. And it's going to succeed."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The downfall of-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry late Christmas everyone!!! my gift from me to you is this update!!!! i'm so sorry i take a long time to update; it's just hard to come up with ideas, i honestly don't even know why. i'm gonna try harder though, and i put in a lot of thought to this fic. hopefully it's not boring. if it's boring will you guys tell me?  
> anyways, hope you enjoy. i'll try to update asap. happy holidays everyone. xx

**October 9th, 1931**

"Because, Louis. We're going to plan a great escape. And it's going to succeed."

Louis scoffs at the bold-sounding statement and shakes his head. Blair seems offended by this, because he places his hand over his heart and stares down at him with his mouth half open.  
Why does this guy think he could just walk up to Louis and refer to him as 'the one who hangs out with the twins?' And then propose a plan to "escape?" What's this moron know about escaping? He has the voice of an immature teen and the looks of a dumbass.

"What? You don't believe me?"

Louis lets out a loud chuckle as he nods his head, extending his hand to turn off the shower head. He wastes no time walking across the room, passing other naked patients taking their time washing themselves in the semi-warm water, and grabs a towel from one of the orderlies standing in the hall. Blair mocks his actions and follows him into the bathroom.

"Why don't you believe me?" He asks, watching as Louis took the time to dry off his body and his damp almond brown hair. 

"You just now show up? And you're already claiming you can escape. From what I can tell, it's not that easy." From what the twins have told him, Louis has the mindset that he'll never make it out; he's just letting it be and he's waiting for something big to happen, because he's know something will. "Plus, I hardly know you." He mumbles after walking back into the hall to grab a fresh new gown from an orderly. After the two dress into their musty smelling gowns, they begin their way back down the hall through each of the wards, journeying to wherever their feet should take them. Blair follows close beside him, seeming desperate at this point but Louis isn't buying it. 

"We're on the same side." He whispers as they pass a few lingering patients. 

Louis grumbles, "We aren't if I don't know you." And stops in front of his room. 

By this point, Blair is seething with impatience because of Louis' reluctance. Louis takes a good look at the older man, noticing that his jaw is clenched because he's getting nowhere. 

Louis just laughs. "It was nice chatting. Maybe we'll see each other around again." Louis grabs the irritated man's hand and carefully shakes it before disappearing into his own room.

"No you won't." He hears a voice grumble from outside the door.

*****  
**October 10th, 1931**

On his tray is a plate of oatmeal. Lumpy, tasteless oats mixed with a cheap cream and spoiled milk. And pulpy orange juice, at least that's fresh.  
Its early in the morning, of course, and Louis can't bring himself to eat. He thinks it's the mysterious pills they're giving him, but maybe it's the anxiety he feels in the bottom of his stomach when he thinks about how alone he is when the twins are gone. It's like fate doesn't want them to be together; they're always separated at the end of the day. If not, then it eventually happens. What's going to happen when they're gone for good? Louis won't have anyone to depend on. They just met a month ago and he's already clinging to them. It's not his fault that they're so alluring, and so charming. He wants more, of course but it's very hard when you have orderlies always watching you after a mishap. 

"Louis?" Why is he always interrupted when he's thinking?

Louis looks up from the ugly manilla tray, only to be greeted with a polite smile on Eleanor's lips. He sighs, because he doesn't seem to have the energy to deal with whatever shit she's bringing him this morning. 

"What?" He snaps, not at all regretful for doing so. 

Eleanor sighs, almost immediately getting the memo that Louis is upset with her for going against him. She's at fault, because she promised she was a good person and that they were on the same side but her actions against him and Edward proved otherwise. "Look, I know you're upset but I need to keep this job. They'll fire me if I'm not strict enough." She whispers tightly, and glances around after she's finished to make sure nobody's around to hear them. 

The apology and explanation is ignored. "Where are the twins?" Louis asks instead.

"I don't know, Louis. But you can't keep this up forever."

Again, Louis ignores what she has to say and continues on with the impending questions that have been stuck in his head. "What's going on with Simon and Niall?" He's developed the assumption that there is something happening between the two. Dr. Cowell has allegedly taken leave, but what for? Especially why so suddenly? And why is Niall acting so bossy and crude to the patients, and especially to himself and the Styles twins? He was on their side, he even said. Is it all just an act?

"Louis, stop ignoring what I have to say. I know you're upset with my actions, but I desperately need this job, and they're always watching. They always know what everyone is up to and they could easily find out if I disobey. Please, can we just start over?" It was her desperate attempt to make amends just for her own sake, not for the sake of their friendship. No apology, no nothing, and that doesn't cut it. Louis doesn't appreciate all that she's done to him and the twins; she's someone he can never trust.

"Go to hell, Eleanor. You're just as skanky as the rest of the orderlies in this shithole." And to finish his last words, he spits on her without even thinking. Some patients who are watching nearby let out a gasp of disbelief, completely shocked that Louis would do such a thing, especially to someone of higher authority.

Eleanor screeches in the most ugly way possible, and it hurts Louis' ears. He quickly covers them with his hands just as the whole cafeteria abrupts into painful screams and shouts. The thing about other patients, is that the smallest of things can bother them, especially if their mental health is extremely worse than others. But if the peace is disrupted, then the patients break out of their bubbles of medicated tranquility and abrupts in chaos. The staff members absolutely hate when it happens, and Louis has no idea what he's gotten himself into.

"You are building quite the reputation, Tomlinson!" An orderly shouts as she stomps by, wasting no time in harshly pulling Louis from his seat by his wrists. Both Eleanor and the other orderly have tight grips on him, and Eleanor digs her nails into his skin which causes him to let out a painful yelp.

"Shut up or I'll inject you." The lady hisses, so Louis growls at her like a rabid dog. As they drag him out of the Chapel Building, Louis gains the strength to try to break free from the painful grasps. He twists his wrists and tries to walk backwards, groaning out when the orderlies tug harder. He won't accept a loss, so he continues the battle by testing their patience. Louis frees a hand from Eleanor (thank God she's weak), and uses it to grasp the reception desk when they make their way to the elevators.

"Let go, you retard!" The orderly angrily shouts, while harshly tugging on Louis' arm. He lets out a whimper, because with each tug, the pain grows and becomes more unbearable. Eleanor grabs a stapler and drops the whole thing on the hand that's attached to the desk. That's when Louis forfeits the battle.

He lets out a loud scream of pain, with tears immediately welling in his eyes. His hand quickly leaves the desk and he is dragged into the musty elevator with the gloating orderly. He looks down to his hand, it's throbbing and he isn't even sure if it's broken or not. Either way, it hurts like hell and he knows nobody is going to take a look at it and take care of it if it needs fixing.

"You got what you deserve." The orderly chuckles, very coldly, and walks out of the elevator with Louis following behind. She doesn't have a grip on his wrist anymore, thank God, but the little crescent indents on the inside of his left wrist made by Eleanor's nails draw the tiniest bit of blood. He frowns at the sight of the abuse.

The two stop in front of metal door, and Louis notices that it's right across from the familiar lab room that belongs to Simon and Niall. That's not a coincidence. At all.

The orderly pushes open the door only to shove Louis inside the unfamiliar room. Little did he know that it's the vary room Edward and Harry were put in for their punishment. Everything is white, not a different shade of grey, or any modified shade of white. The walls, the floor, the ceiling are pure white, and it's bugs Louis almost immediately. Just like it bothered Harry and Edward.

"Have fun, sweetheart." The door is slammed shut, and Louis could hear her lock it.

Standing in the middle of the extremely white room, Louis furrows his eyebrows as he contemplates what he's supposed to do. Are there cameras hidden anywhere? Well he would know immediately since the walls are white, but there's nothing for him to do. It's completely empty, like an abandoned room that was forgotten about. But it's bright with lights and completely white.

"White white white." Louis murmurs as his eyes scan each of the walls. "Even my fucking gown is white." 

Why would they choose such a color?

"What I did wasn't even that bad!" Louis shouts in hopes that someone is listening to him. "I didn't even do anything, please let me out!"

It's like a winter wonderland in here, but without the snow and the beautiful Christmas lights. Where are the colorful Christmas lights?

"Alright, I think I've had enough. You can take me out now." Louis says, while turning in a full three-sixty degree angle. But all he hears in return is _white._

What is he thinking? Nobody is going to end his punishment this early.

 

He uses his finger to write on the floor. The word he writes is, "white," over and over again. It passes the time at least.

 

His stomach grumbles, letting him know that he's hungry. Louis replies, "Don't count on it." It's going to be awhile until he eats.

 

His hand is throbbing and the blood on his wrist has dried on his skin. If the cuts get infected, he wouldn't mind dying. Could one die from an infected wound?

 

Louis assumes that it's sometime in the middle of the night. He hopes it's true; he just has a feeling that it's about two in the morning. He hasn't been able to fall asleep, but he's gotten comfortable laying in the fetal position. He won't let the white get to him.

 

"What would Harry or Edward do?" Louis paces back and forth, about thirty minutes later. "What would they do, Louis?"

 

He can't think straight. Why are they doing this to him when there are worse patients in the building?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!! I'm not dead!! I'm so bad at updating this fic lol. I've been trying to figure out plot points but its just not working out haha. If you guys have any ideas, comment below. I've got some in mind but you know, i don't have the entire fic planned out. I'm honestly trying, trust me. I'm just bad at updating. I'm usually better at winging it but this time I'm just sucking lol.  
> by the way, i fixed an issue that I just found today. i mixed up something with chapter 8 and chapter 10, i don't even know what happened but i basically posted the same thing but rewrote it differently in chapter 10. so i deleted it and added stuff to chapter 8 and 9. it was messy and weird but i fixed it.   
> i don't have time to look this over but i probably will later this evening. hope the fic isn't sucking even though it probably is. thanks for the support otherwise. x
> 
> -Emma

**November 3rd, 1931**

The door finally opens after hours of staring at it. It’s Eleanor, of course, just like the last few days. But this time, she is carrying a plastic cup which contains Louis’ daily medication. He’s noticed that the pill’s shape has changed, its an oval instead of a small tablet. He’s been getting the oval ones for the past three days, but he’s been too tired to notice the changes in himself.  
Actually, Louis hasn’t moved at all in those three days; he sits criss cross in front of the door because the white is too much to look at. He knows he’s tired, but there’s no reason to be tired, there’s nothing to be tired of. He doesn’t think much, he doesn’t wonder about things like he used to. He sits in silence, waiting for something to happen to him because there is nothing in that white room. It’s just him, white, and insanity slowly creeping towards him.

Eleanor had been watching him since she walked in, but Louis keeps his eyes fixated on the wall outside in the hall. He listens as Eleanor lets out a soft breath.

“Come on, Lou. It’s time to come out.” She quietly speaks, with a reassuring smile forming across her glossed lips. Louis’ eyes slowly move from the hall to Eleanor with nothing to say, but just a blank stare.

“Louis..” She says after a few seconds of silence. He hasn’t spoken for a week. He watches as her eyes cloud up with tears, and she gulps as she tries to hold it all back, pursing her lips to keep from crying out. “What has Niall done to you..?” She then murmurs, with a sad sigh.

Absolutely nothing. She should be asking ‘What has the white done to you?’ The plain white is consuming, absorbs everything of anything.

Eleanor walks closer to the boy, who hasn’t even moved at all. She looks down at him with a voice much louder than before, braver than usual, and stronger. “Louis did you hear me? It’s time to come out. You’re free of this punishment. You can come out now, and see the twins. They miss you, Louis, they need you.”

Harry and Edward? Louis hasn’t seen them in forever. He only saw them when he fell asleep or drifted off into a pensive brooding. He hasn’t had any motivation to do anything, but the thought of seeing those twins kept him going. He hardly knows them, but he always depends on them because they were the first to speak to him on his first day. They’ve done so much for Louis, and he won’t let this white prison room strip him of his personality and his motivation for life.

“Okay, Eleanor.” He mumbles, voice rasped due to the lack of nutrition in his system, and the deprivation of sleep. Eleanor’s face almost immediately brightens upon hearing Louis’ voice, and is quick to help him up off the floor. He takes the plastic cup from the orderly and quickly downs the pill all in one go. Eleanor wraps an arm around his shoulder to help him walk out of the torturing room, and shuts it once they’re out in the hall.

“How long have I been in there..?” Louis asks in monotone as the two move down the hall to the elevator. He looks back to the metal door, cringing at the thought of being back in there again. He would rather be tortured with shocks than be stuck in that deathening white room again.

Eleanor purses her lips as they move into the elevator, starting to descend to the main floor. Louis breaks away from her and leans against the wall, too tired to even bother trying to stand on his own. His physical state has been deteriorating, only because of his resistant to eating the slop they had given him everyday, to the lack of fluids in his system, and also because of the medication they have been giving him. 

“Almost a month.” She softly speaks as the elevator comes to a stop. She slides the doors open with her bare hands and re-wraps her arm around Louis to guide him out. The Center Building looks just as it always did, filled with receptionists who hate their jobs, and with patients lingering about. “You missed Halloween.” Eleanor adds as they make their way through the men's wards.

“Oh.” Louis frowns. Halloween has always been his favorite time of October. Even at his age, he still dressed up to pass out candy to the kids. He loves seeing the creativity in children’s costumes, and even in teenagers as well. He never went out trick-or-treating, even as a kid because his parents never allowed him to. He was always stuck at the Halloween bashes they would throw, while trying to set him up with someone to marry. It never worked out, because he wouldn’t allow it to.

“Well here you are, Lou.” Eleanor stopped in front of Louis’ cell with a small smile, but Louis could see the worry in her eyes. She’s afraid to leave him alone, at least that’s the vibe Louis gets from her as he walks in. It’s just the same as it was in October; cold, dark, and musty. He hears the door crack behind him, and that is when the tears flow.

*****  
 **November 4th, 1931**

Louis awakes to banging on the door, indicating that its time for breakfast. He shifts in his uncomfortable, extremely cheap bed, and slowly sits up. He rubs his eyes, not realizing his bags are worse than they were yesterday. His stomach grumbles, trying to tell him he needs to eat before he starves to death. He sighs, and slides out of bed to begin the day.

Louis meant to see the twins yesterday after being released from his punishment, but fell right to sleep after crying into his pillow. He didn’t even understand why he was crying in the first place, was it exhaustion? Or is it the fact that he’s being controlled, and there isn’t anything he can do?

_I’m tired._

He trudges to the already opened door, still drowsy and aching from the medication Eleanor had given him yesterday. He watches other patients walk down the hall to their destination for the early morning, murmuring incoherent chants to themselves or just walking silently with nothing to say at all. It’s another dreary day in Bradley Bay.

 

The cafeteria is more quiet today, and Louis feels like he’s missed something in the past couple of weeks of being in the white room. He receives a tray from a cafeteria staff member; more cruddy oatmeal, watered down orange juice, and a bowl of canned fruit. He turns away from the line to scan his eyes over the many eating patients, and focuses on the corner where him and the twins usually eat. Both are sitting at the table, too engaged in a conversation to notice Louis’ presence. He drops his tray with a warmth in his heart, not at all caring at the shouts of patients and the turned heads.

“Look what you did, you moron!’ An orderly shouts, and slaps the back of his head with as much force as possible. Louis falls to the floor, and grips the back of his head as it throbs. But he doesn’t care about any pain anymore because Edward and Harry are both okay, and they’re finally together.

“No breakfast for you, you stupid twit.” The orderly snaps, and then proceeds to command him to get up off the floor. Louis quickly gets off his knees and stands up, rubbing the back of his head and apologizing for the mess he had made. The orderly tells him to walk away, so that’s what he does.

As he approaches Edward and Harry, his cheeks grow red in embarrassment once he realizes other people are staring at him. Harry is watching him with an idiot grin, and Louis can hear Edward ask, “What the hell are you smiling at?” since his back is facing Louis.

Harry ignores him and quickly gets up, immediately pulling the smaller boy into his torso for a tight hug. Louis looks around to make sure no orderlies are watching before wrapping his arms around Harry.

“Louis you’re back.” Edward says, causing Louis to smile for the first time in about a month.

“We were so worried.” Harry says as he pulls away to look down into his eyes. Louis looks up to Harry, noticing that he looks much better than he did back in October. His curls aren't as messy as they used to be, and he finally has some color in his emerald crystalline eyes. “Come on, sit down.” Harry immediately ushers Louis to the table and has him sit down where he was originally sitting. “Take my food. You probably haven’t even eaten in forever.”

Louis doesn’t even bother turning it down. His stomach won’t shut up.

“You’re all skin and bones, kitten. Where did they put you?” Edward asks as he finishes the last of his canned fruit salad.

“The question is, where did they put _you?”_ Louis scoffs, looking up to Edward with a huge frown across his chapped lips. “I’m the one that got you whisked away to god knows where. And you were gone for days! Me and Harry were so worried about you. And then all this stuff happened with Niall taking over and like-” Louis stops to regain his breath; he’s ranting without even realizing it. “It’s a mess.” He says, looking down to Harry’s tray and forcing a spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth.

“Simon is back, so you don’t need to worry about Niall fucking anything up.” Edward grumbles.

Harry rolls his eyes at the mention of his enemy, and shakes his head. “You haven’t missed much, little one. Just these stupid tasks are making our stay here worse than it should.”

Edward scoffs and reaches his arm over to push Harry’s shoulder playfully. “You have the easiest task, H! All you do is sit in the bakery and make bread and shit. I’m stuck doing disgusting laundry.”

Louis listens to the two bicker about whose task is worse, and sucks on his bottom lip to keep himself from giggling. He’s missed hearing Harry and Edward’s voices; it was way too quiet in the white room, so hearing any noise now is a blessing.

The table grows silent after awhile of Harry and Edward talking nonsense, and Louis just eating whatever he can off of Harry’s tray. The two twins look at him, and stare intently until Louis looks up at the both of them.

“Yes?” He asks with a raised brow.

“Where did they put you, Louis?” Harry firstly speaks.

Then Edward, “Did anyone hurt you?”

Louis cringes at the thought of the white room, and shakes his head at both questions. He doesn’t want to even think about it.

“I was stuck.” Louis begins, while pushing the tray away from him to indicate that he’s finished eating. “In a white room. That’s all it was.” He hears a sharp gasp leave Edward’s slightly parted lips, and slowly looks over to him.

“Niall shoved me in there too, Louis.”

“Really?”

He nods his head. “Locked me in there with a girl as my punishment for kissing you.” He purses his lips and looks away; Harry reaches over the table to grab onto his wrist and rub it for affection, while whispering, “It’s okay, Ed.”

“I was put in there with nothing. And it was all just white, and bright. It was horrible.” Louis whimpers and wraps his arms around himself for a sense of security. “Why do they do this to us?”

Harry sighs, and Edward just stays silent. This is the first time Louis has seen them this way; vulnerable. They always put on a strong face for him, but this time, it’s different. Ever since Louis has been admitted and has associated himself with them, he has caused nothing but trouble for the two. 

“I need to tell you guys something.” Louis speaks up after minutes of silence. The twins turn their head to look at him, giving him their full, undivided attention.

“What is it, baby?” Edward asks.

Louis furrows his brows as he prepares in his head what he has to say, trying to remember everything before actually bringing it up. The Blair guy from the showers has been troubling his mind recently, especially in the white room. He remembers his proposal, how they were going to develop a plan to escape but Louis had shot it down because he didn’t even know who Blair even was. Just a random patient trying to seek attention, he thought.

“I was in the showers back in October, when you both were gone.” Louis starts as the memory resurfaces his conscious. “And this guy came up to me, and asked if I was the one that’s always with you two. I said yeah, and he said his name was Blair and that he’s sane and on our side?”

Edward bursts out laughing at the tale and Harry just scrunches his face up.

“Blair? Never heard of him.” Edward says after calming down, and Harry lets out a small chuckle with a confirmation nod.

“Of course you haven't, you loser. You can’t know all of the patients.” Louis rolls his eyes playfully. “He says he’s been here longer than you guys and has photographic memory so he knows the place like the back of his hand or something.” Louis shrugs.

“Bullshit.” Edward shakes his head, not at all believing the Blair guy. “No one has photographic memory. He’s making that up.”

“Plus, if he’s been here longer than us, then we would know him.” Harry adds.

“I just dismissed him. I just thought it was weird.”

“Take our advice, little one.” Harry says, while scooting closer to whisper into his ear. “You can’t trust anyone in this asylum.”

Louis frowns. “Not even you and Edward?”

Edward shakes his head. “I wouldn’t even trust us, kitten.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry for the very late update!   
> My writers block has been very bad and I am this close to just deleting this fic altogether. Im not liking anything about it, I feel like the more I write, then the more I hate it. This update is absolutely horrible and I don't want to release it but it's better than giving you guys nothing.   
> Im really not sure on what I want to do with this fic. I want to keep trying to write it for you guys because so many of you love this, but its becoming harder and harder for me to think of updates and to figure out plot points. This is a fic that is completely out of my comfort zone and I am not delivering well.  
> I honestly have no idea where to go. I went through each chapter and wrote down important parts of what happened, and highlighted based on if its a major plot, a minor plot, or just important information and with the major plots I wrote down where I wanted to go with it or how it'll affect future chapters but I still have no idea where to go with it all and how to deliver it. Should I just restart? Should I just keep updating when I actually think of what to write for chapters? Should I just delete the fic all together? I don't know. Im completely lost.  
> -Emma

**November 6th, 1931**

Louis slowly turns his head to see Edward to his left, concentrating on folding each freshly washed and dried hospital gown. His almond chocolate brown hair is neatly tied back into a bun, with his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth out of pure focus.   
The laundry room is… musty, needless to say. Stains on the tiled floors, a bathroom-like aura of a sewage stench, which is ironic because it is the laundry room (one would think it would be clean and smell of soaps). 

Since Louis got back from the white room, he’s noticed the twins have been closed off. Had he missed a lot? He must have, because their behavior is different from the last time he had contact with them. The twins are very good keeping things from Louis, that is one thing. But they aren’t good at being subtle about it. Louis has noticed the very obvious changes, and it bothers him to the point where he can barely concentrate on folding the damn gowns.

“Edward?” Louis finally speaks up, although his voice is soft and somewhat scratchy due to the soreness of his throat.

“Hm?” The twin grumbles, without bothering to turn his head to give Louis his full attention. He keeps on folding instead.

Louis sighs. Is it even worth bringing up? It’s been awhile, but Louis still doesn’t know what happened to the twins when they were taken off the main floor.

“Um.” He stutters. It’s none of his business.

Edward slowly turns his head to look at Louis, eyebrows furrowing once he notices the sweat forming on Louis’ forehead. Is he really that nervous to ask a damn question?

“Louis are you okay? Are you getting sick?” Ed almost immediately asks, and hurries to place a hand on the boy’s forehead to check the temperature. “Your forehead is burning up but usually you start to sweat when a fever is breaking.” He mumbles, while grabbing a washcloth off the counter and dipping it in a wash sink filled with water. He wrings it all out before placing the cold wet cloth on Louis’ forehead, cleaning up any lingering sweat.

“Are you getting sick?” Edward repeats himself. Louis just shrugs, letting Edward wipe up his face with the cool cloth. It calms his nerves, and it somewhat cools the warmth on his forehead. “It’s autumn, otherwise known as influenza season…”

“Do people get sick in here often…?” Louis weakly speaks, slowly glancing up to Edward with tired eyes.

“You have no idea.” Edward sets the cloth down before pulling the boy into a hug, one that the both of them have needed. Louis settles his head down on the taller man’s chest, allowing his breathing to match with Edward’s as the two stood in comfortable silence. 

“Louis?” Ed whispers after a few moments of silence. Louis only coughs for a response, to let him know that he’s listening.

“Harry and I will take care of you. I promise.” He whispers, only soft enough for Louis to hear. He ends the statement with a kiss to the top of Louis’ head, promising once again.

Before Louis could open his mouth to react, Ed suddenly jerks away from him, and Louis watches as he goes back to folding the rest of the laundry. An orderly walks in to check up on them, praising Ed for the hard work he’s done. But Louis’s mind is elsewhere, focused on the twin’s words.

A few days ago he says Louis shouldn't trust them, but now he goes and makes such a big promise to him? What is Louis supposed to think? What is he supposed to do with all of this in his head?

He lets out a long sigh and turns away from Ed with a frown. He doesn’t realize the orderly is watching him with a stern look; he instead rubs his face with tears of frustration gathering in his eyes.

“What the hell are you crying for?” The female orderly snaps at him, causing Louis to flinch and divert his attention to the employee. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at her with puffy eyes and tears rolling down his cheeks. Why is he even crying? He’s such a crybaby. But sometimes, things get to be too much and you can’t quite hold it back, and this is one of the moments where he can’t contain his sadness and confusion.

“Huh?” The orderly yells, and starts snapping her fingers in front of Louis’ face. “Are you retarded or something? Why are you crying?”

“Please, ma'am. I think he’s just having a hard day.” Edward softly speaks up. He knows his limit after his experience in the white room.

The orderly looks to Edward with a blank expression, then looks back to Louis with a pout on her lips. “Oh you poor thing. Well guess what? Everyone has hard days but they don’t get to sit and cry about it. They still work their ass off and do as they’re told. You’re not special.”

Louis’ jaw clenches at her sarcasm, and looks to her with an angry expression across his face. He balls his hands into fists, and Edward has to whisper to him to calm down, but Louis ignores him.

“If I’m feeling depressed, then I will feel depressed. If I have to cry, then I sure as hell will cry. You morons will never be able to control me.” Louis speaks with venom, only speaking the truth to the orderly who is only getting angrier within each minute. If there’s one thing Louis has learned during his stay, it’s that you should never stand up to any staff member here at Bradley Bay. So if he knows that, then why does he continue to do so?

“I think it’s time to see Dr. Cowell again.” The orderly responds, and is quick to take out a needle. Edward tries to get the orderly to rethink this, because there’s no need for Louis to go to Dr. Cowell, but she pushes Edward out of the way and tells him to get out. Louis just watches, fully aware that there is no reason to fight the needle anymore. Because in the end, it always wins.

 

Louis wakes back up in his cell, with the door closed. He is greeted with a huge pain in his head, and it causes him to let out a loud whimper of pain. He doesn’t remember much, other than receiving shocks from Dr. Horan instead of Dr. Cowell. They were harsher this time, more brutal than his first time receiving them. His brain feels fuzzy, exhausted, and it feels like someone is talking a sledgehammer to his head to the beat of a calm heart rate. 

He screams in pain, agony. Heartbreak, confusion. But mainly complete, and utter sadness. Because everything hurts. Not physically, but emotionally, mentally. He feels like anything but human, and it’s all because of Bradley Bay Sanitarium. 

Turning to his side, Louis curls up while burying his head under his pillow and screaming at the top of his lungs. His body is exhausted from the shocks, his brain feels fried, and he’s emotionally checked out from society. Is life even worth it anymore, if this is what is in store for him? Shock therapy, pain, and no one to rely on? Is this really the life he is going to live?

It’s too much for him, the tears that soak his bed and the whimpers that echo throughout the walls of his room only make him realize how truly alone and sad he feels. No Liam, no parents, no friends. No one.

Who are Harry and Edward Styles?

With or without the mysterious twins, he will plan an escape. It’ll take time, but he’ll figure something out. 

The prime goal is not only to survive, but to overcome the obstacle that is Bradley Bay Sanitarium.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm finally back after disappearing for months!! I've finally thought of where I want to go with this fic, which means I'm not giving up! Thank you all for the ideas and support, I really appreciate it! I spent all summer trying to think of ideas and the ideas I came up with just hit me today actually, so I'm really happy to be updating again!  
> It might be a bit short and boring today and I apologize for that but hopefully things will start to pick back up! This is just starting to set things up again and make ya'll question some things. ;)  
> Again, thank you for the support and feedback on last chapter, I really appreciate it!  
> -Emma x

**November 15th, 1931**

As fall progresses, the atmosphere and the temperature of the asylum grow colder and darker. Louis spends most of his free time hiding away in his cell, curled up under the cheap blanket provided by Eleanor, whom he still despises after the whole incident.

Each day, he can feel his body trying to fight off the sickness that is slowly enveloping him, but he knows he’ll only get worse without any antibiotics.

Maybe that’ll mean no shocks from Mr. Cowell.

Louis won’t hold his breath. Knowing this wretched place well enough already, doctors will still give treatments to patients no matter their health condition. Louis isn’t any special, nor should he be.

 

As Louis shifts from one side to the other on his bed, Eleanor quietly slips in with a tray of medicine for the sick patients. Each cup is filled with something different, some have pills, some filled with a red colored syrup.

She slowly walks over to the bed, and uses a hand to gently nudge Louis’ shoulder. “I have medicine for you.” She speaks.

Much to Louis’ dismay, Eleanor, unfortunately, is still his orderly due to the fact that she has been assigned to his ward, and probably always will be unless a miracle were to happen. He can’t stand to look at her, due to the fact that she had a false outburst and got him in trouble. Couldn’t he trust her? After that happened, he most certainly can’t. It goes to show how corrupt the people in Bradley Bay is. Take a look at Dr. Horan too.

“Don’t want it.” Louis mumbles with a scratchy voice, even though he knows he needs it.

“Yes you do.” She sighs and picks up a cup filled with the red liquid. “Sit up and drink this, please.”

Louis rolls his eyes, although Eleanor can’t see. He finally makes the decision to sit up, looking up to the one lady he thought he could depend on with a grim expression. 

“We need to talk about it.” She speaks lowly so only he can hear, while handing Louis the cup. Ignoring her statement, Louis peers into the cup at the syrup and swishes it around.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He finally answers, before slowly pressing the rim of the cup to his lips, taking his time opening his mouth to down the cough syrup. It tastes bitter as it reaches his throat, causing him to almost gag. But he manages to swallow it all with a slight shiver of his body following afterwards. It’s absolutely disgusting. _Was that stuff even cough syrup?_

“I want to make it up to you by helping you escape.” Eleanor whispers, immediately taking Louis by surprise.

But he knows better than that. “Yeah right.” He scoffs, and lays back down with the cheap blanket covering him up.

He hears her sigh in distress. “Louis, I’ve seen people like you die in here. I can’t watch it happen anymore.”

“But you got me in trouble when I didn’t even do anything wrong. You keep proving to me that I can’t trust you, so how do you expect me to believe you right now?”

Eleanor takes the empty cup, and looks into Louis’ eyes. “If I didn’t truly care about you and your health, then I wouldn’t be here right now making that offer.” The orderly makes her way to the door with a slight frown across her lips, very obviously disappointed with how the conversation went. 

Before completely walking out, she turns back to look at Louis again. “If you decide you want to take me up on that offer, then just let me know. It will never expire.” She adds, before moving on to the next patient.

“I’m too exhausted to even think about it.” Louis grumbles to himself before laying back down on his side and curling his legs.

If she is serious about it, then he will take up the offer. But his mind is constantly reminding him of the twins. _What about them?_

*****

**November 16th, 1931**

“Wake up, little one.”

“He’s sick, Harry. Let the poor kid sleep.”

“But he has to see-”

“He will wake up when he wakes up.”

“Do you think he’s been avoiding us?”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s just been… distant.”

“He’s sick. He’s not going to want to leave his bed if he’s feeling weak and tired, H.”

“He really shouldn’t trust us, you know.”

“We’re fine.”

“But are we?”

“This place has made us more sane, if you ask me.”

“We should tell hi-”

“Don’t start.”

“Edward, there’s going to come a day where we fall for him and he’s going to fall for us.”

“He would never.”

“He’s stayed with us for this long. You two have even kissed. Don’t you think that’s saying something?”

“Shut up. He’s stirring.”

“Wake up, Lou.”

Louis slowly stirs, just as his eyes slowly open from the five hour nap he had started after lunch. The cough syrup Eleanor is giving him isn’t seemingly helping much, so he figures sleeping it all off would help.

He is greeted with the Styles twins on either side of his bed. Harry is peering down at him with a smile, and Edward is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. It brings a small smile to Louis’ chapped lips, seeing familiar faces he hasn’t seen in awhile. 

“How’re you feeling?” Edward asks as Louis slowly sits up, rubbing his eyes as he does so.

“Horrible. But it’s flu season so what else is new?” Louis says with a drowsy laugh. “Are you two not sick?”

“I had a cold a couple weeks ago.” Harry shrugs. “But that doesn’t matter. We missed you. Why have you been keeping to yourself?”

Louis looks up to Harry, whose olive green eyes are filled with concern, lips slightly curved down to complete a frown. His curls are tousled, like they always are, but he can tell Harry is starting to grow them out like his brother’s. As for Edward, his hair is pulled back into a bun, lips pursed with his eyes solely focused on Louis. Have they really been this concerned for him?

“They don’t have room in the infirmary for me so I’ve just been residing in here I guess. Don’t want to get anyone else sick.”

Harry rolls his eyes and reaches down to grab onto Louis’ dainty hand. “Well we wanted to show you something.”

“Harry did. I didn’t.” Edward cuts in.

Louis’ eyes trail to Harry’s hand, who is holding his own hand. His thumb brushes against Louis’ knuckles for comfort, before he gently squeezes it. Louis feels his cheeks heat up as a result of the gesture.

“Come on.” Harry says with a soft tug of Louis’ arm.

“I don’t know. I’m very tired.” Louis says, before yawning at the perfect moment for proof that he’s too drowsy to go anywhere. “Plus, I don’t want to get anyone sick, like I said before.”

“But you have to see it, Lou! It’s important!” Harry urges, with another tug to Louis’ arm. He’s surprisingly in a good mood; he’s never been like this… chirpy. Is this something that happens once in awhile?

Edward rolls his eyes. “It’s really not.”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow, not quite sure who to believe. Harry is very unpredictable, so this “important” thing he is talking about could be anything. Due to Louis’ growing curiosity, he agrees to going with them to see what Harry is raving about.

“You’ll love it.” Harry says, while helping Louis out of bed. 

The three walk out of Louis’ cell and make their way up the hall, going through each ward until they reach the center building. Louis shivers due to the lack of heating throughout the building, and keeps close between the twins for any kind of warmth. He’s not the only patient suffering from this, as others have their own arms around their body, trying to hug themselves to keep warm. 

When they reach the center building, Harry rushes to the windows and points to one of them. Louis takes his time getting there, but is almost immediately thankful he got out of bed for this.

Outside on the ground, is a beautiful blanket of pure white snow, with flurries and flakes lingering in the air. 

“It’s November and it’s already snowing.” Louis wonders aloud, whispering to himself with wide eyes filled with wonder. 

He glances to Harry, who is grinning ear to ear, which is something anyone hardly sees.

“The snow is his favorite.” Edward speaks from behind the two. “Always has been since we were young.”

Louis’ smile widens upon hearing this, and turns his head to look back out the window just as the snow picks up again.

“I wish we could go out and play. I would love to build a snowman and make snow angels again.” Harry sighs, before pressing his forehead to the glass with a small whimper.

“Harry, don’t start.” Louis watches as Edward pinches the bridge of his nose. Louis shoots him a look as if to say, _’what?’_ but Edward just shakes his head.

“Let me be nostalgic, brother.” Harry grumbles back. Louis can feel the tension growing between the two.

“There’s nothing to be nostalgic about. Now can we get something to eat?” Edward’s jaw clenches, and Louis watches as his hands ball into fists. What is going on with him?

“You two go. I think I’m going to stay and watch.” Harry answers, causing Edward to groan and immediately turn around to walk into the direction of the chapel building. Louis chews on his bottom lip, not sure if he should stay or go. Edward seems a bit irritated from the way he acted, and could maybe use moral support, whereas Harry seems to be finding peace from watching the snowfall. But with that being said, what just happened?

“I’m gonna go with him, okay?” Louis says. Harry nods his head, not taking his eyes away from the window.

Louis catches up to Edward by somewhat fast walking, since he knows he’ll get in trouble for trying to run. Edward is looking grumpy, walking with a bit of an angered expression across his face, and it makes Louis frown.

‘What’s wrong?” He asks, not quite understanding how Harry could have possibly angered him that much.

Edward stops in the middle of the hall and sighs, rubbing his face in attempt to calm himself down. Louis watches him.

“I don’t know why he’s so obsessed with the snow.” He says, while rubbing his eyes. “It’s so triggering for me.”

Louis’ eyebrows furrow with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. “Why?”

Edward looks down at him after taking a few moments to calm down. His eyes are darker than they normally are. “Now is that your business, little one?”

He’ll always remember those eyes. Those dark, mysterious eyes that’s filled with secrets. But what are they?

“No.” Louis replies, knowing not to pry.

“Correct answer.” He earns a kiss to the forehead.

All throughout dinner and the rest of the evening, Louis still questions what Edward meant by that. What are those not telling him?


	15. Chapter 15

**November 18th, 1931**

Louis had not seen Dr. Malik for awhile, so when he received news from Eleanor that he had an appointment with the man, he of course, was not happy. He very much liked it better when Dr. Malik was long gone from his thoughts, and not prying into his life with personal questions. It’s going to be the same old stuff like always, “How do you feel about men? Do you find yourself attracted to women?” Yadda, yadda, blah. After this meeting, Louis knows for sure that Dr. Malik will up the treatment, because he isn't cooperating; he never does.

“Good morning, Louis.” The doctor greets as Louis sits down in a chair. “Sleep well?”

Louis scoffs. “Sure.” Of course he didn’t sleep well. This building is freezing due to the conditions outside and he’s still trying to get over a cold, possibly the flu. He was never diagnosed or admitted into the infirmary since it's full.

“First, I would like to talk about the white room. How did that go?”

Could he have asked any worse question than that? Louis didn’t ever want to think about that place again after Eleanor let him out. That room was horrible; almost made him go crazy due to the complete bareness of the room. Consumed in his thoughts, insecurities, doubts, and no hope to hold on to. He was on the brink of losing his mind.

To refrain from speaking about it, Louis shrugs. His eyes watch the pen in Dr. Malik’s hand, watching as he takes note of his answer.

“How did you feel when you were in there, Louis?” The doctor asks, while carefully looking up from his yellow paper to glance at Louis.

“I felt like killing myself, Dr. Malik.” He speaks with a bit of an attitude when responding. Louis could’ve committed suicide, but he didn’t.

“And why?” Dr. Malik purses his lips and looks up from his notebook so he can catch Louis' eyes.

Louis then rubs his eyes with a loud, frustrated sigh leaving his chapped lips. “It was just white, there was nothing to do, no one to talk to. I felt dehumanized; nobody should ever have to feel like that.”

Dr. Malik hums in response and jots some more notes down. Louis glances around the office while he waits, focusing on the analogue clock to entertain himself. It’s 9:23 in the morning.

“It says in your file folder that you and Edward Styles had kissed back in October.” Louis’ cheeks grow red in embarrassment, causing him to sink in his chair. Are they really going to talk about this? “I should've called you in for an appointment to discuss it but I've been so busy lately. Louis I need you to be honest with me. Are you sexually attracted to Edward?”

“Yes.” Louis blurts without thinking about it. But at this point, what has he got to lose? He already served a punishment for it happening. What's Dr. Malik going to do about it? He's so late that he really can't do anything else about it but listen and ask more stupid questions.

After taking a few more notes about it, Dr. Malik takes his glasses off with a sigh. He sits back in his chair, looking at Louis with a disappointed expression. It’s not the first time Louis has been given a look such as Dr. Malik's. “Louis, I’m starting to see a rapid decline in progress.” Dr. Malik says with distress in his voice.

Louis furrows his brows. He was never even progressing in the first place. “And how is this news?” He asks, trying to stifle a laugh.

“Well, from what I have read, your shock treatments aren’t constant but your behavior is. Maybe we need to start doing regular shocks every couple of days?”

Louis immediately shakes his head, suddenly caring about what is actually coming out of Dr. Malik’s mouth. Usually Louis just brushes him off and doses into a world of his own, but this time, he is fully listening when Dr. Malik suggests more electrical shocks.

“No.” Louis says, shaking his head once more.

“Oh? And is that your call to make, Mr. Tomlinson?” Louis knows he should back down, given the fact that Dr. Malik looks like he’s about to end him, but Louis can’t lose his life to electrical shocks. He will not let it happen.

“It is if you’re putting _my_ life on the line for _your_ personal gain.”

A dark chuckle fills Louis’ ears, causing him to uncomfortably shiver with enigma. The effect these employees have on the patients are strong. They're wicked people with evil intentions, and it frightens Louis more than they'll ever know.

“Personal gain? And what might that be, Louis?” Dr. Malik's piercing dark eyes silently throw daggers into Louis’ slightly heaving chest, giving him a pang of anxiety almost immediately. He’s never seen Dr. Malik get so sinister with him before, but it’s living proof that he’s only here for himself, and probably Dr. Cowell as well. 

Louis nervously gulps, and opens his mouth to back down and apologize, but a knock at the door interrupts the silent warfare between the two.

“Who is it?” Dr. Malik calls to the door before it opens up anyways. Louis turns his head back to see who it is, and cringes at the sight of Dr. Cowell.

“Pardon my interruption, it’s just me." He says as he walks inside. He has his lab coat on, with a pair of safety goggles on as well. "I’ve finally figured out another treatment that might come in handy. I want you to come to the lab so we can discuss it with Dr. Horan.” Louis zones out as the two engage in what should be a confidential conversation. All he could wonder about is this new treatment. What is it for?

“We can probably shock him every few days, I don’t see why not.” Louis hears Dr. Cowell as his mind tunes back into the conversation. “You’re a strong lad, aren’t ya?” Dr. Cowell eyes the small boy, looking down at him with a wicked grin and a wink. Once again, Louis cringes.

“Louis, I’m sure you can get back to the main floor by yourself? I don't have time to wait for Miss Calder and Dr. Cowell needs to speak with me.” Dr. Malik asks while putting today’s notes into Louis' personal manilla folder. “No trouble?”

Louis nods his head and stands up. Without a further word, he walks past Dr. Cowell out the door and hurries down the hall, trying to get away from the two as soon as possible. 

All of the secrets between everyone Louis is associated with is getting exhausting; he can’t keep up with it all. The twins, Dr. Horan, Dr. Cowell, Eleanor. What is going on around him? Who is he to trust?

 

Waking out of the elevator, Louis sighs and finds himself wandering through each ward. After staying in bed for so long, he could use the exercise. He passes some other patients, ones who cling to the wall and talk to it, or wander around aimlessly talking to themselves or to an invisible friend. Louis passes a lady who is telling the story of how she met a real life snowman, but it turns out she’s just schizophrenic and it was all just her mind playing with her.  
He stops so she can listen to her story, it turns out she created him by accident. The snowman came alive and started talking when she put a black hat on top of it's head. Louis quietly laughs to himself as she talks about how fat the snowman was, and how he was always saying ‘happy birthday,’ up until a hand wraps around his wrist and pulls him back. He lets out a yelp, and is pulled into a dark place with the door abruptly shutting.

Louis prepares to scream since it's almost pitch black around him, but his mouth is immediately covered by the same hand with a voice trying to shush him. He recognizes it as one of the Styles twins, but he’s not too sure which twin is with him.

“Who is this?” Louis grumbles, voice muffled due to the large hand on his mouth.

“It’s Edward, there’s no need to worry, kitten.” As Edward removes his hand from Louis’ lips, Louis is quick to throw his arms around the man’s neck after realizing that it is indeed Edward, and moves in close for a hug. He feels a pair of arms snake around his waist and pull him close, with a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“Jesus, you scared me.” Louis sighs, trying to relax under the warmth of Edward’s embrace. Even after the kissing incident, there is no denying that there is a growing connection between the two. And although Edward knows to keep his distance, he just can’t seem to stay away from the blue-eyed angel, no matter how hard he tries.

Edward lets out a deep chuckle and places a kiss to Louis’ temple. “It’s alright. I probably shouldn't have done that anyways.”

Louis shrugs his shoulder with a growing smile. It had been awhile since he's been able to touch any of the twins. “We should definitely do this more often.” He says, with a small giggle leaving his lips. He can feel Edward’s hands trail to his sides, where he squeezes his hips. Louis squeaks in response.

Edward hesitates with a slight sigh. “I don’t know, kiddo. We can’t repeat-”

“It won’t!” Louis interjects, pouting even though Edward can’t see due to the darkness surrounding them. Despite the fact that Edward isn’t truthful to him, he can’t deny his attraction to him. He knows just as well that he shouldn’t get close to him, but it’s hard not to with the way he treats him.

“Louis… We just can’t.” Louis feels the twin pull away, causing his heart to sink. “I pulled you in here to ask about your meeting with Dr. Malik. Things are changing here, and not for the better. I even have suspicions that Dr. Cowell has been up to something.”

Louis thinks about earlier this morning and remembers when Dr. Cowell interrupted their appointment. He heard something that he probably shouldn’t have. “He is up to something.” Louis says, while anxiously chewing on his bottom lip. “He came into Dr. Malik’s office and he mentioned something about a new treatment. He didn’t say anything else since I was in the room.”

Edward lets out a grunt of dissatisfaction. Is there something Louis doesn’t know about? Clearly there is a lot he doesn’t know, but it seems that Edward is only hiding most of it from him.

“Will you ever tell me what’s going on?” Louis asks with a frown, while looking up to Edward, barely making out his face through the dark.

With a sigh, Edward reaches for Louis’ hands and intertwines their fingers. Looking down at him, he says with a stern voice, “Louis, everything I do is to protect you, and that includes not telling you the things I know. All you need to do is push through it and survive. Do you think you can do that for me?”

Louis purses his lips and looks down to his feet, trying to avoid Edward’s eyes. “They’re going to shock me more often, Edward. I’m scared.”

The twin leans down to press a soft kiss to Louis’ lips, completely catching him by surprise. Louis returns the kiss, of course, but he never thought Edward would want to kiss him again after they had gotten caught. This time, it feels much better; not rushed, completely sweet and innocent.

“If we can do it,” He murmurs against Louis’ lips, referring to himself and Harry, “Then you can do it as well, kitten.”

Louis’ heart soars when he hears the words. He’s not sure if it’s because of the pleasant kiss or if he’s caught up in his feelings, but the fact that he has someone who believes in him is enough to lift him up, spiritually and mentally. After this, Louis knows for a fact that he can always count on Edward (and even Harry) because the two have adopted him since his first day in this wretched place. They wouldn’t dare give up on Louis, so why should Louis give up on them?

But still, there are too many secrets that they still need to fill him in on. He either needs to be upfront about it, or do some digging. Or mind his own business. The less he knows, the better. Right?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! Thought I would surprise yall with an update! I apologize if you feel as if its a filler or short and boring. Its honestly a segway for the next chapters.  
> I miss updating. I was busy this summer getting ready for college and I was so invested in my relationship (which failed :/) that I didn't have the time or mentality to update. Im extremely sorry for neglecting this fic. I've been in somewhat of a bad place since my breakup and my classes and my new job kept me busy so I've hardly had time to sit down and write anything. I really hope yall understand and are patient with me. I want to get back into this fic and try to make it the best that it can be. I give up on writing fics really easily but this one, I really don't want to let it go. It challenges me and its making me go out of my comfort zone, which is what I need to become a better writer.  
> The story is moving on a bit slowly and Im really sorry for that. What sucks is that I lost everything on my old phone this summer when i got a new one, except for my photos. Im telling yall this because I had notes about this fic; I had plot points and what each floor of the asylum was and what times each character had to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as well as shower times. I lost the blueprint of the asylum that I was using for this fic too. So with that being said, if I get anything wrong, then Im very sorry. I need to reread the fic and find those details before I update again.  
> You guys have no idea how much I miss writing this. Im going to try to be better though. xx

**December 1st, 1931**

“It’s Christmas month!” Perrie’s (or Daisy’s?) high pitched voice rings in Louis’ ear. He grunts at her abruption, with other patients in the dayroom complaining about her being too loud. An orderly tells her to keep her voice down because other patients are trying to enjoy their Sunday, but she’s just too excited about Christmas.

“It’s not going to be fun when you’re stuck in a cold, lonely asylum.” Louis mumbles as he captures a black checker piece. Sitting across from him, Harry groans when Louis takes the piece off the board.

“You’re cheating, Louis.” Harry grunts, but winks to let Louis know that he’s joking with him.

Louis pouts at the accusation, not taking Harry’s hint. “No I’m not!”

Perrie lets out a long groan beside them. “Oh who cares about that! It’s Christmas month, the best time of the year!”

Harry rolls his eyes at the girl and ignores her. “I know you’re not cheating, little one. I’m playing easy.” He looks over to Louis with a small smile. Louis’ heart flutters.

“I know you don’t like me Harry bu-“

Harry turns his head to look up at the irritating patient, jaw clenched. His eyes are cold, narrowing as he speaks his mind, not caring if he hurts anyone’s feelings. “It’s not a wonderful time, Perrie. Would you just shut up already? No one likes Christmas except for you.” It’s no wonder that Harry was as harsh as he was; she’s been bothering the dayroom about it all day and he’s had enough of it. 

Instead of hurting Perrie’s feelings, he seems to have tainted Louis’. He frowns after hearing what Harry had to say about the day of Jesus’ birth. “I like Christmas.” He mumbles, his heart heavy.

“Well we don’t celebrate it in this Hellhole so say goodbye to it. Now can we finish this damn game in peace?” Harry looks between the both of them, green eyes filled with irritation and impatience. Louis is quick to nod his head because he doesn’t feel like bothering Harry even more about it; he just wants to finish the game as well and leave it at that.

“Styles.” The orderly sternly calls his name. “Keep. The voice. Down.”

Harry purses his lips and shuts his eyes tight to keep from blowing up. Louis sighs sadly.

“Harry, what’s gotten into you?” He asks, voice small and soft.

“It used to be a wonderful time of the year.” He mumbles. Perrie perks up. “It’s not anymore.” Louis watches her frown.

“Come on, Harry.” Louis stands up and looks back to the orderly to see her tending to one of the patients on the other side of the room. He grabs Harry’s hand and helps him out of the chair, leading him over to the window. Perrie follows close behind.

They reach the window and pull the blinds up so they can see out the glass. Light flakes of white float in the air, eventually falling to the blanket of sparkly snow that covers the ground. They all stare out, watching the serene and calmness of what is supposed to be a blizzard. Harry lets out a relaxed breath as he pushes his face against the window.

“Wow..” Perrie breathes out in awe. “Don’t you just wanna go out there and dance?”

Harry slowly nods his head. “And make snow angels.”

“And snowmen.” Louis adds.

The three of them stand in silence, watching the snow peacefully fall onto the bushes and trees out in the distance. Louis learns that they’re never allowed to go outside during the cold weather; and it makes sense though, because the staff wants to refrain from picking up illnesses or diseases. But what they don’t understand is that the lack of proper heating increases that risk as well.

Harry lets out a content sigh, while slowly turning his head to look at the smaller boy beside him, Louis. Louis’ dark oceanic eyes scan the outside world with curiosity and wonder, deeply focused on the only peaceful thing that him and the patients will ever witness. While corruption and turmoil surfaces Bradley Bay, the world outside celebrates the forthcoming of Christmas and other holidays. Harry’s heart sinks a little more each year when Christmas passes, because he can’t be out there celebrating like he used to. The only thing keeping his spirits up is the fact that this will be his first Christmas with someone other than Edward.

“Harry?” Harry blinks a couple of times as he is met with reality once again. He must have zoned out.

“I’m here.” Harry reassures the smaller boy by looking down at him with a small smile. This causes Louis to smile as well for the first time in awhile.

“What were you thinking about?” Louis asks as the two move away from the window to sit back down at their abandoned checker board to continue the game now that Perrie is out of the way.

“I was thinking about when me and Edward would celebrate Christmas with our parents.” He speaks softly, his smile fading. “It was wonderful.” He mumbles, voice melancholy.

“Yeah?” Louis asks, hoping that maybe Harry will open up a bit about his personal life. He knows nothing about these twins, other than the fact of their incestious relationship. Neither of the twins talk about themselves; they’re a mystery waiting to be solved.

Harry nods. “We were spoiled though.” He starts, while slumping back in his seat. “Edward hated it, he always did.”

“What did I hate?” The two turn their head to the direction the third voice came from. It’s Edward, just coming from finishing up his daily task of folding laundry.

Harry shakes his head. “Whats new?” He asks, hoping Edward will just drop it.

“We need to talk.” He lowers his voice, stepping closer to the two so they can all talk in secrecy.

“Edward?” Louis looks up at him, noticing how the look on his face had changed to a solemn expression.

“Listen, I overheard two doctors talking about a new treatment for patients. Its called the skull drill. Have you heard anything about it?” Edward looks between his brother and Louis, waiting anxiously for answers.

Harry slowly shakes his head with furrowed brows. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

Louis frowns. He remembers hearing Dr. Malik and Dr. Horan speaking about it right in front of him. He didn’t think much of it at the time because Dr. Horan didn’t go into details about it.

“What is it? Whats the problem with it?” Louis asks, his worry only growing now that Edward has brought it up.

“They didn’t go into detail about it. Apparently they drill into the frontal lobe to the part of the brain that controls emotions and all that.” Louis’ eyes widen, although he isn’t sure if he understands what that necessarily means. It has to be something bad if Edward is informing them about it.

“So what does that mean?” Harry speaks up before Louis himself can ask.

“I don’t know, I’m not a psychologist. We need to figure it out though before it happens to any of us.”

Louis shakes his head. A new treatment? He deals enough with the shocks, so he isn’t sure if he can take a surgery that could affect his brain. What if they choose him though? What if he undergoes the surgery? Can he die? Will he change in any way?

“Sweetheart.” Harry whispers beside him. Louis hadn’t noticed that his breathing has picked up.

“Louis, it’s okay. I’m going to figure this out for us.” Edward speaks in a low voice, while stepping closer to grab his hand. “You’ll be okay.”

“We’re gonna die.” Louis barely whispers.

“No, don’t say that. For all we know, the surgery probably failed and they won’t even use it.” Harry tries to reassure him.

“I’ll figure this out for us.” Edward carefully says, while rubbing his thumb against Louis’ knuckles in an attempt to calm him down. “I’ll figure it out tonight.”

Harry lets out a small scoff. “How?”

“I’m going to have to sneak around the offices. Do some digging.”

Louis immediately shakes his head when he hears Edward’s plan. “No.” He says a bit forcefully, while looking up at him.

“No?” Edward repeats.

“You aren’t going. You aren’t risking it.”

“Louis, we need to know more about this. This could be a treatment for people like us.”

“Or for the schizophrenics!” Louis whisper shouts. The twins realize how unhappy Louis is with this plan. He has a right to be. Lurking around at night outside the cells is risky enough, but snooping around in the offices and labs are even worse of a risk. He won’t let Edward get in trouble, not after all the other times he’s gotten in trouble thanks to Louis.

“Edward-“ Louis tries one more time to convince him, but Edward hushes him.

“I’m looking for answers and thats final.” He speaks with sternness in his voice, which makes Louis back down. There isn’t a point in fighting with him about this; the twins are always doing things on their own anyways.

“I’ll sneak around tonight after midnight. I’ll try to find as much information as I can. If things are truly getting bad again, then we might have to leave this time.” Edward whispers, mainly speaking to his brother this time.

“Things have been bad in the past?” Louis’ curiosity speaks for him. The twins have been there much longer than him, it’s obvious. They know what they’re doing because they’ve memorized the halls and the schedules. They know this building like its their own home. 

A new treatment though? What could that mean for everyone? Instead of finding answers to questions that Louis has raised in his mind, he only ends up with more questions and no answers to them. He’s running in endless circles and it feels like he’ll never get out of it. 

“Things are always bad.” Harry answers first. “It might not seem like it, but it always is.”

Instead of this asylum helping him with his “issue,” he feels like he’s going insane with the amount of curiosity and questions he has about everything. Things truly are getting bad.


End file.
